Critics Outraged By Flippant School Shooting Plotline In ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’
NEW YORK—Describing the new film’s narrative choices as recklessly exploitative given the current climate, critics blasted The Super Mario…
Month: April 2026
France Questions How Rescue Mission Considered A Success When No One Surrendered To The Nazis
PARIS — On Monday, French officials questioned how the United States could classify the airman rescue mission a success…
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump…
Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the…
Downed F-15 Pilot Asks Rescuers If They Can Go Back For His AirPods Real Quick
KOHGILUYEH — A thankful F-15 weapons systems officer reportedly asked his rescuers if he could go back to the…
Social Media Users Sour On Democracy
A Gallup survey found that heavy social media users are less likely to think democracy is the best form…
Alien Life Matters More Than American Jobs Obviously
Oh boy, are the fake news media and the deep state going to have a field day with this one.…
Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky
Breaking News: Jon Oliva is Still Alive and Kicking (Sort Of) 🤣. In a shocking turn of events, the 66-year-old…
METAL CHURCH’s KURDT VANDERHOOF Totally Not Being Defensive At All Claims Former Members Were Totally Clueless And Shouldve Seen It Coming Duh
In a shocking turn of events, Metal Church’s founding guitarist Kurdt Vanderhoof has spoken out about the band’s new lineup,…
State of Decay 3 Closed Alpha Announced Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough Zombie Apocalypse Stress in Your Life Yet
This past weekend was a real treat for State of Decay fans, and by “treat,” I mean they finally got…