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Day: July 29, 2026

Dez Fafara’s Brain Somehow Still Intact Despite Years of Nu Metal
Breaking, Music News

Dez Fafara’s Brain Somehow Still Intact Despite Years of Nu Metal

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I was so excited to read that Dez Fafara, the…

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Finally Found Someone They Could Investigate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama involving former FBI Director James Comey, and I’ve got…

The Oracle Speaks: World Leaders Adopt New Policy to Ignore Donald Trump’s Tweets Forever
The Orange Oracle

The Oracle Speaks: World Leaders Adopt New Policy to Ignore Donald Trump’s Tweets Forever

Milton TruthwellJuly 29, 2026

The latest transmission from THE ORANGE ORACLE has left the nation reeling, as Donald Trump took to Truth Social to…

Gaming’s greatest business model strikes again: Runescape resells old content
Breaking, Games News

Gaming’s greatest business model strikes again: Runescape resells old content

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2026July 29, 2026

Oh joy, another update to get us excited about the inevitable grind in Runescape: Dragonwilds. The developers at Jagex have…

BTS Skipping 2027 Grammy Awards Consideration Entirely Now
Live, Music News

BTS Skipping 2027 Grammy Awards Consideration Entirely Now

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2026

BTS have announced they’ll sit out the 2027 Grammy Awards, choosing not to submit music from their comeback LP, Arirang,…

Soundgarden’s Last Album Gets Mixed By Matt Cameron
Live, Music News

Soundgarden’s Last Album Gets Mixed By Matt Cameron

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2026

Drummer Matt Cameron has revealed that Soundgarden‘s final album is currently being mixed. The eight-song LP contains vocals recorded by…

Tony Documentary Explores Life Beyond Anthony Bourdain
Live

Tony Documentary Explores Life Beyond Anthony Bourdain

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2026

When Matt Johnson’s Tony introduces Dominic Sessa as its 19-year-old protagonist, he doesn’t introduce himself as Anthony. Most people don’t…

Mamdani Tries To Catch Netanyahu With Trap Labeled ‘Free Bagels’
Babylon Bee

Mamdani Tries To Catch Netanyahu With Trap Labeled ‘Free Bagels’

FinnJuly 29, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vowing to do everything in his power to execute the ICC arrest warrant for Israeli Prime…

Historic Building Gets Fresh Coat of Controversy This Week
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Historic Building Gets Fresh Coat of Controversy This Week

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in Washington, where preservationists are trying to stop the…

NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon
The Onion

NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon

FinnJuly 29, 2026

       HOUSTON—Instituting the health mandate in order to ensure proper acclimation to the reduced gravity of Earth’s only natural satellite,…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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