Oh, sweet merciful gaming gods! 🙏 Seagate, bless their cotton socks, has bestowed upon us, the unwashed masses of Xbox Series X|S owners, a 4TB Storage Expansion Card! Because, you know, the internal storage wasn’t already a black hole sucking away our hard-earned cash.💰💰💰
As if games weren’t bloated enough already, demanding more digital real estate than your average California mansion, Seagate, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate plea for relevance), has partnered with Xbox to unleash this beast. Apparently, some games now require over 100GB of storage. 🤯 Seriously? What are they putting in these games? The entire Library of Congress? 📚📚📚 It’s so simple to use, they say! Just plug it in! Like we’re all a bunch of toddlers who can’t operate a toaster. And it holds 100+ titles, depending on the game size. So, like, maybe three copies of Call of Duty? 🤔
Launched alongside the Xbox Series X|S, because what better way to celebrate a new console than to immediately remind people that they’re going to run out of space? 🤦♂️ This plug-and-play NVMe SSD expansion is “optimized” with Xbox Velocity Architecture. Velocity? Sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie. 🚀 I bet it still takes an eternity to load *Grand Theft Auto*. They’ve been expanding the lineup with 512GB, 2TB, and now 4TB versions. It’s like they’re intentionally trying to bankrupt us one storage increment at a time. 💸💸💸
Depending on the size of the games, this bad boy can hold over 100 titles! 💯💯💯 So, if you’re only playing *Minesweeper*, you might actually fill it up. And it’s “optimized” for the Xbox Series X|S, which means it’ll probably work just as well as duct tape on a Ferrari. 🏎️➡️💩 Don’t worry, though, because it ensures “no impact” on graphics, loading times, or frame rates. Yeah, right. I’m sure my games will run smoother than ever while my bank account weeps in the corner. 😭 In addition to storing modern AAA, first-party, and indie games, you can also store your digital copies of Xbox and Xbox 360 titles! So you can relive the glory days of gaming, now with slightly faster loading times! 🎉
Originally released in 2020, because who doesn’t love a good cash grab? 🤑 CGMagazine even gave it a positive score! They highlighted the loading time for *Fortnite*. *Fortnite*? Really? That’s the benchmark we’re using now? 🤡 “Load times were faster than directly from the Xbox Series X.” Well, that’s just sad for Xbox, isn’t it?
Futureproofing the console’s storage size? More like future-fleecing our wallets. 🐑 For the low, low price of $499, you too can own this technological marvel! Available on the Seagate website, because who needs food when you can have more storage? 🍔➡️🚫 Just remember, kids, storage is forever, but your money isn’t. 😉
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
