🚨 BREAKING: Over-30s Can Now Dance Without Needing a Nap Before 9 PM! 🕺🍕 The “Matinee Disco” at Joyface (71 Irving Pl, NYC) is weekly every Saturday. Visit matinee.club for the full calendar. Dress code: no gym clothes (we see you, millennials in leggings). Music: 70s-90s bangers. Pizza at ~8pm. Home by 11pm. Revolutionary! 🌟✨

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
