Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The US Justice Department has charged eight Iranians for their alleged roles in a years-long hacking campaign to steal data from five federal and state government agencies, as well as scores of US universities and companies. I mean, who needs sleep when you’ve got hackers working overtime to get their hands on our intellectual property, right? The indictment says these hackers gained access to government and private email accounts, and stole a large swath of intellectual property from US universities, often operating on behalf of Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC).
The hackers allegedly breached about 8,000 email accounts belonging to professors in the US, Europe, and other locations. That’s a whole lot of professors, if you ask me. The academic data and intellectual property they targeted cost the US universities $3.4 billion to “procure and access,” according to the indictment. I guess that’s what they mean by “education costs” these days. In some cases, the hackers sold the stolen academic data to Iranians who could then access the online libraries of American universities. Talk about a subscription service.
Among the hacked private US companies were 11 tech firms and two defense contractors, none of which the Justice Department named. I’m sure that’s just to keep us all on the edge of our seats, wondering which companies got hacked. Somewhere in Atlanta, a producer thought this sounded terrifying, and now we’ve got a whole story about it. FBI Assistant Director in Charge James C. Barnacle, Jr, said in a statement, “Backed by the IRGC, this operation reflects a broader, organized effort to target U.S. institutions and global partners.” Yeah, no kidding.
The activity began years ago, but it’s the latest reminder of Iran’s cyber capabilities and the costs they might impose on US groups amid the US-Iran war. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of cyber cat and mouse? In six months of the war, Iran has been a key suspect in cyberattacks on US water systems, tank readers at gas stations, a major medical device maker, and FBI Director Kash Patel’s private email account. That’s quite a to-do list.
Seventeen people have now been charged in the broader alleged hacking scheme that was the focus of Tuesday’s superseding indictment. The Justice Department announced charges against nine other people in 2018. I guess you could say they’re just adding to their collection of indicted hackers. CNN has requested comment on the charges from the Iranian Permanent Mission to the United Nations, but I’m sure they’ll just say something like, “Who, us? Hackers? Never.”
The indictment outlines the ecosystem of hackers-for-hire on which Iran’s intelligence services allegedly rely. For example, one alleged member of the hacking conspiracy also worked on a website project for Iran’s supreme leader. Another “worked on behalf of the Iranian military to conduct computer network attacks that targeted military systems, nuclear software systems, and Israeli infrastructure,” the indictment says. It’s like they’re trying to win some kind of award for most creative hacking scheme.
In conclusion, it’s been a wild ride reading about these Iranian hackers and their alleged shenanigans. I’m just glad I don’t have to worry about my coffee mug being hacked… yet. The Justice Department has certainly got their work cut out for them, trying to keep up with all these cyberattacks. And to the hackers, I say, “Bless their hearts” for trying, but maybe they should just stick to playing video games instead. After all, it’s not like they’re going to win any awards for “most stealthy hackers” anytime soon.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
