Sac “❤️’s” R&B at Cesar Chavez (allegedly). Prepare for elevator music 🎶.
Cesar Chávez Plaza? More like “Cesar CHAVEZ ME, this is boring” Plaza! 🙄 Get ready for “dancing” (aka awkward swaying) to “R&B” (think dial-up modem sounds). Friends & family? More like frenemies judging your dance moves. Prepare for blast! 💥 (of boredom).
DJ’s only? So bring earplugs. 🎧
21+ only? Because only adults can appreciate this level of…culture? 🤔
NO CHAIRS ALLOWED! (except for the cool ones, obviously). 😎
Vendors? Email [email protected] (good luck with that). 📧
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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