Well, folks, it seems the perpetually offended have found their newest target, and this time, it’s not a historical statue, a beloved children’s book, or even a harmless Christmas song. Nope, this time, the Social Justice Warriors have their sights set on…a plush monkey. 🐵 You heard that right. A stuffed animal. Apparently, the upcoming horror flick «The Monkey», based on a Stephen King story and directed by Osgood Perkins, has committed the egregious sin of featuring a, wait for it, monkey as the villain. 😱
According to the perpetually outraged representatives of Black Lives Matter, this cuddly antagonist is nothing less than a blatant symbol of racism and white supremacy. 🙄 Because, you know, all monkeys are obviously black, and all black people are obviously monkeys. It’s just basic logic, right? 🙄🤦♀️
🤯 Stephen King’s ‘The Monkey’ Sparks Outrage! 🤬
«Obviously, this is another manifestation of racism», shrieked one BLM spokesperson, likely while clutching their pearls and fainting onto a chaise lounge. «A white director made a film in which a monkey is the worst enemy. What is this if not a manifestation of white supremacy?!» 🤬
Now, let’s be real, folks. This is beyond absurd. It’s like saying «Jaws» is racist against sharks, or «Cujo» is discriminatory towards Saint Bernards. It’s a horror movie, for crying out loud! The whole point is to be scared, not to conduct a sociological analysis of the villain’s supposed racial undertones.
But hey, who are we to question the enlightened minds of the woke mob? They see racism lurking around every corner, even in the innocent face of a plush toy. Maybe they should stick to fighting actual injustice instead of chasing imaginary boogeymen. Just a thought. 🤷♂️
In the meantime, I’m sure the vast majority of us will be able to enjoy «The Monkey» for what it is: a fun, spooky flick based on a classic Stephen King tale. And if the BLM crowd wants to boycott it, well, more popcorn for the rest of us! 🍿😎
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
