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Day: February 3, 2025

New Bible Reading App Just Texts You The Entire Bible One Verse At A Time
Babylon Bee

New Bible Reading App Just Texts You The Entire Bible One Verse At A Time

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

U.S. — A new Bible reading app called Daily Crumbs has taken the Christian community by storm thanks to the…

The Onion

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In an effort to assuage any fears over the constitutionality of the Trump administration’s flurry of executive actions,…

House On Jaden Smith’s Head Listed On Zillow For $1.6 Million
Babylon Bee

House On Jaden Smith’s Head Listed On Zillow For $1.6 Million

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — What had been an unpredictable Southern California housing market received an unexpected boost over the weekend,…

The Onion

Elon Musk Offers Self $10 Billion Federal Buyout

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Saying he was just more deadweight hampering the executive branch’s ability to function efficiently, Elon Musk confirmed Monday…

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He’s From Canada
Babylon Bee

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He’s From Canada

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA-Beloved groundhog Punxsatawny Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork…

The Onion

Americans Start Stockpiling Moose Ahead Of Tariffs

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Rushing to purchase the hoofed mammals before the Trump administration’s tariffs on Canadian imports went into effect, Americans…

Zelenskyy Asks U.S. For $20 Billion To Find Out Where That Missing $100 Billion Went
Babylon Bee

Zelenskyy Asks U.S. For $20 Billion To Find Out Where That Missing $100 Billion Went

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

KYIV — To date, the United States has allocated approximately $177 billion worth of aid to Ukraine, but the war-torn…

Trump Announces He Will Lift Tariffs On Canada Just As Soon As They Win A Stanley Cup
Babylon Bee

Trump Announces He Will Lift Tariffs On Canada Just As Soon As They Win A Stanley Cup

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid ongoing discussions with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, President Donald Trump announced he would lift Canadian…

🎮 Battlefield 2025? More Like Battlefield 3 Remastered… But at Full Price! 💰💀
🎮 Battlefield 2025? More Like Battlefield 3 Remastered… But at Full Price! 💰💀
Games News

🎮 Battlefield 2025? More Like Battlefield 3 Remastered… But at Full Price! 💰💀

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 3, 2025February 3, 2025

Electronic Arts has once again proven that innovation is for losers, and money is for winners! In a shocking yet…

Illegal Immigrants Helpfully Wave Flags So ICE Knows Where To Send Them
Babylon Bee

Illegal Immigrants Helpfully Wave Flags So ICE Knows Where To Send Them

Finn McFrameFebruary 3, 2025

U.S. — As deportation efforts continued to ramp up across the United States, several hundred illegal immigrants took to the…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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