The Trump Admin Says Dept. Of Education Should Be Dis Mantled. This Is Why Their Mistaken
Following a tumultuous — and some may say — reckless — three weeks gutting government agencies vital in running our…
Month: February 2025
CIA Announces It Has Obtained The Briefcase
Read MoreThe OnionThe post CIA Announces It Has Obtained The Briefcase appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical…
Congress Warns Trump’s Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of Congress are sounding the alarm that President Trump’s efforts to end the war in Ukraine…
Legion Of Doom Condemns JD Vance Speech
SLAUGHTER SWAMP — Despite the overwhelmingly positive reaction to it from American and European citizens, a statement released by the…
Numerous Teams Express Interest In Aaron Rodgers Playing Elsewhere
Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Leaping at the opportunity to make their intentions clear, numerous NFL front offices expressed interest this week…
Nolan’s «Odyssey» is Already the Best Film Ever – and It Hasn’t Even Released Yet! 🤯🔥
Hollywood’s most self-serious director, Christopher Nolan, is at it again – this time tackling the ancient Greek epic «Odyssey» with…
Drunk Man Doesn’t Like The Way Kumon Logo Looking At Him
Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Charging across the street in order to find out “what this motherfucker’s problem is,” local drunk man Garrett…
Is Elon Musk The Father Of Your Child? Signs To Look For
According to reports, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has a lot of kids, with an estimated three dozen Musk-sired children being…
Deranged Maniac Fires Off Over 17 Memes In Crowded German Shopping Mall
HAMBURG — Chaos erupted and hundreds fled in a German city once again today, after what witnesses described as a…
WINNING: Trump Announces Plan To Attack The British And Prussian Forces At Waterloo
WASHINGTON, D.C. — America’s resurgence reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump announced a plan to attack…