Impoverished Man Only Has Two Computer Monitors
PALO ALTO, CA — According to sources, a local impoverished man only has two computer monitors on his desk in…
Month: February 2025
Audit Reveals All Fort Knox Gold Replaced With IOUs
FORT KNOX, KY — An audit by the Department Of Government Efficiency has revealed that all the heavy gold bars…
It Almost Weirder That Grown Man On Roblox Isn’t Grooming Children
Read MoreThe OnionSEATTLE—Voicing concern about the adult’s aberrant behavior, sources confirmed Monday that it was almost weirder that Richard Shea,…
🧐🎮 60% of Civilization 7 players have no clue what they’re doing — but they’re still winning!
A shocking scandal has rocked the gaming community! 😱 According to a recent leak, fewer than 40% of Civilization 7…
Woman Posts Pic Of Her Dinner For Benefit Of Friends Who’ve Never Seen Spaghetti
LEXINGTON, KY — Local woman Julie Linton took several pictures of her dinner to post on social media for the…
Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem
MONTREAL — Hockey fans of the soon-to-be 51st state of America booed when their future National Anthem was played last…
Europe Vows To Stick It To Trump By Finally Paying Their Own Bills
MUNICH, DE — Following Vice President J.D. Vance’s speech condemning Europe for failing to do its part alongside America to…
SNL Celebrates 25th Anniversary Of Last Time It Was Funny
NEW YORK, NY — Saturday Night Live hosted an epic celebration to mark fifty years since the show started and…
Vance Speech Denouncing E.U. Censorship Censored By E.U.
MUNICH — Angry about Vice President J.D. Vance’s speech denouncing censorship in the Europe, the European Union has decided to…
Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have demanded increased transparency from a man who painstakingly posts on the internet every single thing…