Tate McWhoopsie-Daisies Teams Up With Country’s Favorite Controversy Cowpoke for a Duet That’s Sure to Trigger Everyone (and no one will remember in a week 🙄)

OMG! 😱 Tate McRae, our pristine pop princess, has been caught in the act! She’s slumming it with none other than Morgan “Chair-Throwing, Slur-Slinging” Wallen on a duet called “What I Want.” The horror! 😩 Is nothing sacred anymore? Did she not see the meticulously curated outrage machine firing on all cylinders? Clearly, she missed the memo about staying in your lane, sweetie. #CancelTateMcRae #MorganWallenIsOverParty (again) #PopStarPrivilege

So, apparently, Wallen, fresh off his supervised probation for interior decorating with furniture (from a great height, mind you), decided to bless us with a new album, “I’m the Problem.” How meta! 🙄 And what better way to promote it than by dragging a perfectly innocent pop star into his vortex of controversy? It’s pure genius, I tell you! (Said no one ever).

The McRae fandom, bless their cotton socks, is having a full-blown meltdown. The internet is awash with pearl-clutching and dramatic pronouncements. “I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!” one distraught fan wailed, channeling their inner Tyra Banks. (Because that’s totally relevant). Another lamented, “Now why would you go and do that?” as if McRae had personally betrayed their family. Girl, get a grip. It’s a song. Maybe.

And then there’s the classic, “Girl we love you pls cancel that collab with Wallen pls.” Oh, the sweet, naive hope! As if McRae could just wave her magic wand and erase the recording from existence. Honey, the internet is forever. And so is Wallen’s questionable reputation.

Let’s not forget Wallen’s checkered past, shall we? Remember that time he got booted from Kid Rock’s bar for expressing his artistic vision on the glassware? Ah, good times. And who could forget the infamous “72-hour drinking bender” that resulted in some… unfortunate… vocabulary choices? Good thing he learned his lesson! 😇 (Narrator: He didn’t.)

Oh, and let’s not overlook the recent chair-throwing incident at Eric Church’s bar. Because apparently, Nashville bars are just Wallen’s personal playground. He’s basically a toddler with a trust fund and a penchant for projectile furniture. But hey, at least he’s serving his time! Well, most of it. Seven whole days! That’ll teach him. 🙄

But seriously, can we talk about the sheer audacity of Wallen releasing an album called “I’m the Problem”? It’s like he’s daring us to hate him. And honestly, it’s working. But, the music industry is still giving him attention, which is what he wants. 🤦‍♀️

So, congratulations, Tate McRae! You’ve officially entered the chaotic realm of Morgan Wallen. May the odds be ever in your favor. You’re going to need it. 🙏

Chuck B. Ballsy

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.

Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.

Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤