OMG, Linkin Park dropped a “visualizer” for “Unshatter”! 🙄 As if anyone actually *watches* those things. It’s basically a screensaver with extra steps. And it’s from the *deluxe* edition of “From Zero.” You know, the album that was so good, they needed to IMMEDIATELY re-release it with bonus tracks to squeeze more cash out of the die-hards. 💸
So, apparently, “Unshatter” and “Up From The Bottom” are the band’s first foray into music since “From Zero” dropped last November. A whole five months! Groundbreaking stuff, really. I bet they spent every waking moment slaving away in the studio. 😴
“From Zero (Deluxe Edition)” – get this – is a *limited pressing* 2CD set! Softpak packaging! A 16-page booklet! It’s like they’re trying to recreate the magic of buying a physical album in 2003. Except, you know, nobody actually *buys* physical albums anymore. Unless you’re a boomer who can’t figure out Spotify. 👴👵
The band (or, you know, whoever’s left of it) graced us with a quote: “‘Up From The Bottom’ was created in between tours this year, infused with the electricity of those first shows back after a long hiatus.” Electricity? More like static shock from all the dust accumulating on their amps. ⚡ “Let You Fade’ was a song that began during the ‘From Zero’ sessions but found its final shape in sessions after the album’s release.” Translation: It was a B-side they forgot about and then desperately tried to polish. ✨ “‘Unshatter’ was an early track we made while recording ‘From Zero’; Emily’s huge vocal in the bridge was one of the moments that gave us an indication of what was possible together.” Translation: “We accidentally left the microphone on when Emily was warming up, and it sounded…okay?” 🎤
And then, the ultimate humblebrag: “We are so grateful for the incredible reception to ‘From Zero’. This new chapter, our continuing journey, and the connection between the band and fans has been more than we could’ve hoped for. Thank you for listening.” Oh, please. They’re just happy people are still paying attention. 🙄 The “connection” is probably just a bunch of middle-aged dudes reminiscing about high school. 🤘
Let’s dissect this track listing, shall we?
CD1:
- “From Zero” (The song that started it all, apparently)
- “The Emptiness Machine” (Sounds deep…or just depressing)
- “Cut The Bridge” (Did they run out of metaphors?)
- “Heavy Is The Crown” (Is this a Game of Thrones reference? In *Linkin Park*?)
- “Over Each Other” (Are they fighting again?)
- “Casualty” (Of the music industry, maybe?)
- “Overflow” (Of ideas? Doubtful)
- “Two Faced” (Pot calling the kettle black, anyone?)
- “Stained” (With what, exactly?)
- “IGYEIH” (I Got Your Ear In Here. WTF?)
- “Good Things Go” (Like this album should have)
CD 2:
- “Up From The Bottom” (Still digging?)
- “Unshatter” (Like my eardrums after listening to this)
- “Let You Fade” (Into obscurity, hopefully)
- “The Emptiness Machine (Live)” (Because once wasn’t enough)
- “Heavy Is The Crown (Live)” (Still with the Game of Thrones?)
- “Over Each Other (Live)” (They’re *definitely* fighting)
- “Casualty (Live)” (More casualties?)
- “Two Faced (Live)” (Double the hypocrisy!)
Oh, and they’re touring! The “From Zero” world tour, which kicked off in Mexico City and is now gracing the fair state of Texas. 🌵 I’m sure the fans are *thrilled* to see them playing the same songs they’ve been playing for the last 20 years, but with a *new* singer. 🎤😬
And because they’re just *so* generous, they released an a cappella version of “From Zero”! Because nothing says “rock and roll” like a bunch of dudes harmonizing without instruments. 🎶 (Except it’s probably auto-tuned to hell and back.)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
