IN THIS MOMENT, the band that makes you question if you accidentally wandered into a Hot Topic clearance sale, has announced the “Hell Hath No Fury” tour for 2025. Yes, 2025! Mark your calendars, folks, because you definitely *might* want to miss this 22-city extravaganza ofโฆ well, you know. They’re dragging along WARGASM (lol, who?), Kat Von D (wait, she still does music? ๐คจ) and THE PRETTY WILD (never heard of ’em). Get ready for a wild ride of questionable fashion choices and music that sounds vaguely familiar yet utterly unique in its mediocrity.
So, the tour kicks off in Green Bay, Wisconsin โ because, naturally, that’s where all the cool kids hang out. ๐ง Then, they’ll be gracing such glamorous locations as Nashville, Memphis, and Detroit with their presence. Finally, they’ll wrap it all up in Atlantic City. Because what’s more metal than a trip to the Tropicana? ๐ฐ
Of course, because you’re all such dedicated fans (or, more likely, morbidly curious onlookers), there’s a special BLABBERMOUTH.NET presale. That’s right, BLABBERMOUTH. The pinnacle of journalistic integrity. ๐ค To get your tickets early (and potentially regret it later), use the presale code “ITMBBM25”. Because who needs creativity when you can just mash letters together?
Now, let’s dissect these tour dates, shall we? They’re hitting up Rock Fest and Inkcarceration Festival. Because nothing says “intimate concert experience” like being crammed into a field with thousands of sweaty metalheads. ๐ฅต And then there’s the Peoria, Illinois date at the Prairie Home Alliance Theater. I’m picturing a bunch of confused senior citizens wondering where Garrison Keillor went. ๐ค
Oh, and don’t forget the Graceland Sound Stage in Memphis! Because nothing complements Elvis’ legacy likeโฆ whatever IN THIS MOMENT does. ๐ธ Seriously, I’m picturing Elvis spinning in his grave so fast he could power the entire city.
But wait, there’s more! They’re playing at the Egyptian Room in Indianapolis. I’m guessing they’ll be performing a ritual to summon the ancient gods ofโฆ eyeliner? ๐ค And who could forget the Kodak Center Theater in Rochester, NY? I’m sure the ghosts of George Eastman are thrilled. ๐ป
โHell Hath No Furyโ Tour Dates:
- Wed Jul 16 โ Green Bay, WI โ Epic Events Center
- Fri Jul 18 โ Cadott, WI โ Rock Fest +
- Sat Jul 19 โ Peoria, IL โ Prairie Home Alliance Theater
- Sun Jul 20 โ Mansfield, OH โ Inkcarceration Festival +
- Tue Jul 22 โ Nashville, TN โ Marathon Music Works
- Wed Jul 23 โ Chattanooga, TN โ The Signal
- Thu Jul 24 โ Chesterfield, MO โ The Factory
- Sat Jul 26 โ Council Bluffs, IA โ Harrahโs Stir Cove
- Sun Jul 27 โ Denver, CO โ Unhinged Fest +
- Tue Jul 29 โ Springfield, MO โ Gillioz Theatre
- Wed Jul 30 โ Memphis, TN โ Graceland Sound Stage
- Fri Aug 01 โ Dubuque, IA โ Q Casino โ Back Waters Stage
- Sat Aug 02 โ Grand Rapids, MI โ GLC Live at 20 Monroe
- Sun Aug 03 โ Wheeling, WV โ Capitol Theatre
- Tue Aug 05 โ Rochester, NY โ Kodak Center Theater
- Wed Aug 06 โ Schenectady, NY โ Proctors Theatre
- Fri Aug 08 โ Detroit, MI โ Masonic Temple Theatre
- Sat Aug 09 โ Hammond, IN โ The Venue at Horseshoe
- Sun Aug 10 โ Indianapolis, IN โ Egyptian Room at Old National Centre
- Tue Aug 12 โ Richmond, VA โ The National
- Thu Aug 14 โ Worcester, MA โ Palladium
- Fri Aug 15 โ Hanover, MD โ The Hall at Live!
- Sat Aug 16 โ Atlantic City, NJ โ Tropicana Showroom at Tropicana Atlantic City
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chordโs first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competitionโand won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
