OMG! 🙄 Joseph Kosinski, the genius behind *Top Gun: Maverick* (because we totally needed another one of those 🙄), is back with a movie about Formula 1. It’s called *F1* or *F1: The Movie* (so original!), starring Brad Pitt, who apparently hasn’t aged a day since the dinosaurs roamed the earth 🦖. Lewis Hamilton is producing, because why not add another thing to his plate? 🤷♂️ They showed it to actual F1 drivers, and their reactions are… well, let’s just say they’re being polite. 😇
So, the plot is about Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt, duh), a former F1 driver who had a boo-boo 🤕 and had to retire. But wait! Thirty years later, his old buddy Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem) is like, “Hey, come back and mentor this young whippersnapper, Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris)!” 👴 So, Sonny’s back, dealing with old ghosts and rivalries. Groundbreaking stuff, people. 🏆
«Cool and American»
Lando Norris from McLaren thinks it’s “cool.” Like, *totally* cool, dude. 😎 “Inspirational,” even! Because we all know F1 drivers need more inspiration. 🙄 He thinks it’ll inspire young racers. Probably to get plastic surgery and marry a pop star. 🎤
Carlos Sainz of Williams (who?) says it’s a bit “American.” You think?! 🇺🇸 He thinks “hardcore fans” and “journalists” might find it too Hollywood. But hey, he “enjoyed” it. High praise! 🙌
«Balance and Representative»
Alex Albon, Sainz’s teammate (still don’t know who they are 🤷), thinks they found a “good balance.” Between what? Reality and utter bull💩? 🤣 He says it’s hard not to be “too critical.” Yeah, because everything about F1 isn’t already over-the-top. 🤪
Fernando Alonso, a two-time world champion (okay, he’s kinda a big deal), says it’s not a “documentary.” No duh! 🙄 He admits there are some “inaccuracies.” Like, maybe the cars don’t actually fly? 🚀 But he thinks the on-track action is “original” and “representative.” So, basically, it’s a lie, but a pretty lie. ✨
«Incredible and Long»
Charles Leclerc from Ferrari (another big shot 👑) also admits to “inaccuracies.” But it’s for a “broader audience.” You know, people who don’t know anything about F1 and think it’s all just fast cars and hot people. 💃 He’s “incredibly impressed” with the camera angles. Because that’s what really matters, right? 📸 It’s “great for Formula 1” because it’ll reach people who otherwise wouldn’t care. Mission accomplished! 🥳
Mercedes-rookie Kimi Antonelli (a ROOKIE?!) calls it “long, but really well made.” Thanks for the expert opinion, kid! 👶 He thinks “everyone in the world” will love it. Because everyone in the world is just dying for another Brad Pitt movie about cars. 🙄 He thinks the story is “strong.” Strong like week-old coffee. ☕
«Not So Fast»
You’d think you could see it soon, but NOPE! Gotta wait until June 26th. It cost $140 million. 💰 Hope it’s worth it. Then it’s on Apple TV+. Because who doesn’t love another subscription service? 😒
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
