**Oh, honey, bless your heart if you thought the ocean was your personal bathtub before 1975. 🙄 Turns out, there were these things called SHARKS lurking beneath the surface. Who knew?! 🤯 Clearly, everyone was too busy doing the Hustle to notice the apex predators doing their thing. 🦈**
So, in June of ’75, America had its collective “OMG, there are sharks in the ocean?!” moment. Groundbreaking stuff, really. 🥇
Before this earth-shattering revelation, apparently, hundreds of thousands of blissfully ignorant beachgoers were just frolicking in the waves, completely oblivious to the fact that they were potential shark snacks. 🤦♀️ Then, DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNN, “Jaws” swam into theaters, and suddenly everyone was a marine biologist. 🐟➡️ 🦈
It was 1975 – The Summer of the Shark. And it was a total massacre…of common sense. 🤪
“Don’t go in the water!” they cried. As if that would stop anyone from Instagramming their beach bod. 🤳
Statistically, there were 49 shark attacks worldwide that year. But who cares about facts when you can panic and blame a movie? 🤷♀️
The real tragedy? The tourist industry took a nosedive, and sharks became the victims of “Jaws”-inspired vendettas. Because nothing says “I’m not scared” like brutally murdering an animal. 💪
People were legit channeling their inner Quint (aka Robert Shaw) from the movie, turning shark hunting into a bloodsport. Because, you know, that’s totally rational. 🤪
And let’s not forget the iconic opening scene where the naked lady (Susan Backlinie) becomes shark bait. Still terrifying, still hilarious. 😂
“Jaws” raked in $260 million and changed the way we think about sharks forever. All thanks to irrational hysteria. 👏
Even seasoned surfers were spooked. “Shark!” someone would yell, and everyone would scramble like crabs in a bucket. 🦀 Spoiler alert: it was probably just a harmless leopard shark. 🙄
The “Jaws” scare was second only to the “War of the Worlds” Martian panic. People were seeing sharks everywhere, even in their bathtubs. 🛁
One poor kid, Gautam Barua, was scarred for life when he saw Robert Shaw get chomped in half by a robotic shark named “Bruce.” Traumatized? Nah, he just became obsessed with sharks. Go figure. 🤷♂️
Beaches were closed, lifeguards were sweating bullets, and everyone was convinced that a great white was lurking beneath the waves, ready to strike. 🌊
In Long Island, beaches were closed for the first time in a decade. Because apparently, sharks had suddenly developed a taste for Long Island clam chowder. 🥣
The Pleasure Island Tourist Board declared “Jaws” a national emergency and demanded “legal relief.” As if suing Steven Spielberg would bring back the tourists. 🤦♀️
Even lifeguards were scared. Can you imagine? “What if we have to rescue someone from a shark attack?!” they wailed. Get a grip, people! 🧘♀️
Ichthyologists (aka shark nerds) were supposedly having trouble finding divers brave enough to catch sharks for research. Because science takes a backseat to fear, obviously. 🧪
Newspapers were frantically printing articles assuring everyone that shark attacks were rare. Don’t swim at dawn or dusk! Don’t wear shiny jewelry! Don’t bleed in the water! Great advice, but still not enough to calm the masses. 🤡
Even as they tried to reassure everyone, the newspapers couldn’t resist sensationalizing the story. Because fear sells, baby! 💰
Companies selling shark repellent gear were raking in the dough. Because nothing says “prepared” like a $150 shark dart. 🎯
And let’s not forget Willner’s Apparel Shop in Hackensack, NJ, who had a “Shark Sale” and boasted “shark-proof fitting rooms.” 🤣 Genius marketing, I must admit.
By the end of the year, the hysteria had subsided, and people were starting to make fun of sharks. “Saturday Night Live” debuted “Landshark,” a sketch about a shark knocking on doors pretending to be a plumber. 🤣
But the fear lingered, paving the way for “Jaws 2” and its unforgettable slogan: “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.” 🙄
But not everyone was terrified. One little boy at a Jersey screening yelled, “Oh, poor old shark!” A sign of things to come. 🥹
Over the next 50 years, sharks went from pop culture villains to objects of veneration. Who doesn’t love Left Shark from the Katy Perry halftime show? 🦈 And “Baby Shark doo doo doo doo doo doo”? 👶
“Jaws” may have initially portrayed sharks as monsters, but it also sparked a lasting fascination with these creatures. And that’s a good thing. 👍
Even Peter Benchley, the author of “Jaws,” later regretted demonizing sharks and devoted himself to clearing up misconceptions. Because even he realized he’d gone too far. 🤦♂️
Today, there’s a generational divide when it comes to sharks. Older people who grew up with “Jaws” still tend to be scared, while younger people are more chill. 🧊
“Boomers are generally very anti-shark,” says Gautam Barua. “Millennials and Alphas tend to have a much more benign view.” Maybe because they realize “Jaws” is just a movie, not a documentary. 🎬
Some still consider “Jaws” a classic film, and it definitely changed Hollywood forever. But let’s not forget the real victims here: the sharks. 🦈
Meanwhile, surfers were secretly loving the “Jaws” scare because they had the waves all to themselves. 🏄♀️
So, the next time you’re at the beach, remember “Jaws” and all the irrational hysteria it unleashed. And maybe, just maybe, try not to panic when you see a fin in the water. 😜
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
