Ah, the Nintendo Switch 2 is here! And by “here,” we mean arriving with a complimentary screen piercing, courtesy of GameStop’s elite receipt-attaching squad. Who needs a screen protector when you can have a staple? It’s like a built-in anti-theft device, because who would steal a console with a puncture wound? 🤣
So, the glorious day has arrived. After that day-one patch that definitely fixed everything (or at least pretended to), the Nintendo Switch 2 graced our doorsteps. But hold on, what’s this? A tiny, metallic intruder ruining the pristine screen? Yes, folks, GameStop employees, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the best way to secure your receipt was to staple it DIRECTLY TO THE BOX. Through the packing material. And into the screen. Because why not? It’s not like we wanted to play games on it or anything. 🙄
Our brave X user (formerly Twitter, because who even remembers what it’s called now?) recounted their harrowing tale of waiting in line, only to receive a Switch 2 with a complimentary hole. “GameStop stapled the receipt for me and my friends Switch 2s to the box. FML,” they lamented. Followed by pictures of the carnage. Because nothing says “enjoy your new console” like a staple-induced screen fracture. And now they get to wait three months for a restock. Three months to contemplate the genius of GameStop’s packaging strategy. 🤦♀️
But wait, there’s more! Over on Reddit, other victims are sharing their stories of stapled screens and shattered dreams. It seems this isn’t an isolated incident. The Staten Island GameStop is apparently running a “Staple to Win” promotion, where every console comes with a free screen modification. One commenter noted that “everyone there had the same thing done to their boxes.” Over 100 people! That’s a lot of stapled screens. Maybe GameStop should start selling screen protectors made of receipt paper? 🤔
And what does GameStop have to say about all this? Crickets. Their last post on X was a cryptic “Midnight. GameStop. You know the drill,” followed by an ad that says “Tonight’s the night.” Yeah, the night your screen gets violated by a staple. Thanks, GameStop! Very cool! 😒
But fear not, not all retailers are evil! One user reported that Walmart included snacks with their Switch 2 order. Pringles and Coke! Because nothing soothes the pain of a botched console launch like processed potato chips and sugary soda. Quinn Nelson wrote, “Walmart delivered our other Switch 2 this morning with a free can of Pringles and a Coke. Unexpectedly awesome!” See, GameStop? It’s not that hard to not ruin people’s day. Just don’t staple receipts to screens! Is that too much to ask? 🙄
So, as the reports continue to pour in, one question remains: how will Nintendo and GameStop make things right? With “out of stock” signs already popping up, it seems like affected customers are SOL. Maybe they can offer a free digital game as compensation? Or a coupon for 10% off a future purchase? Yeah, that’ll totally make up for the ruined screen. 🙄
In conclusion, the Nintendo Switch 2 launch is going swimmingly. Just remember to bring your own staple remover when you pick up your console. And maybe a screen protector. And a therapist. You’re gonna need it. 😂
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
