Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, can you believe it? Routine, the game that was supposed to drop back when the Mayan calendar was still a thing (2012 announcement, 2013 release date, LOL!), is STILL being “worked on” by Lunar Software. Yes, folks, after a decade of radio silence, broken promises, and probably a few existential crises on the devs’ part, they’re telling us they’re “approaching the finish line.” I’d say don’t hold your breath, but you’ll probably die of old age before this game actually sees the light of day.
Back in the ancient times of 2012, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Steam Greenlight was a thing, Routine, this “Space Horror” masterpiece (allegedly), got the green light (pun intended!). For those of you too young to remember, Steam Greenlight was like a popularity contest for indie games, where fans voted on which titles they wanted to grace their precious Steam libraries. It was a simpler time, before Steam became the digital landfill it is today. 🗑️
Developers would beg, borrow, and steal (probably) to get their games on Greenlight, and then pray to GabeN himself that enough people would click that little “yes” button. And lo and behold, Routine, this beacon of hope (or despair, depending on your perspective), made the cut! 🎉
But then… nothing. Crickets. Silence. The void. It was as if the developers at Lunar Software had been abducted by aliens, or maybe they just realized they were in over their heads. Who knows? 🤔
Anyway, Greenlight bit the dust in 2017, replaced by the glorious Steam Direct, where anyone with a few bucks can upload their garbage to the platform. Progress! 🚀
So, after all these years, after countless delays and broken dreams, Lunar Software is back with an update! They even showed off a “re-reveal trailer” at Summer Game Fest 2022, which probably cost them more money than they’ll ever make from this game. You can watch it below, if you dare. Just don’t expect to be blown away. 😴
In a thrilling Steam blog post, Lunar Software has bravely declared that Routine is, in fact, still being developed! 🤯 They’re even “approaching the finish line,” which could mean anything from “we’re almost done” to “we’re about to give up entirely.” Who knows with these guys? 🤷
The blog post reads like a hostage statement: “ROUTINE is still very much in active development, and we are beginning to approach the finish line for the game. We’ve learned a lot from past experiences, one of those is not to commit to a release window before we’re absolutely sure we can hit it. However, we’re confident that we’ll be able to share more news on that front soon.” Translation: “We screwed up before, and we’re probably going to screw up again, but please don’t abandon us!” 🙏
Oh, and here’s a fun fact: Mick Gordon, the dude who made the music for DOOM (2016) and DOOM Eternal, used to be involved in this project! But he bailed in 2024, probably because he saw the writing on the wall. 🏃♂️💨 Don’t worry, though, his music will still be in the game, so you can at least listen to something good while you’re waiting for it to load. 🎧
In conclusion, Lunar Software wants you to know that they haven’t forgotten about Routine, even if the rest of the world has. They promise to share more information soon, which probably means another vague update in a few years. In the meantime, you can check out their website, which is probably as outdated as the game itself. 🌐
So, there you have it, folks! Routine is still alive… sort of. Just don’t expect to be playing it anytime soon. Or ever. 😂
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
