GRAND CADAVER, the Swedish “old-school” death metal “behemoth” (because apparently, they’re HUGE), featuring washed-up members from DARK TRANQUILLITY (who?), THE HALO EFFECT (never heard of ’em), TIAMAT (are they still around?), NOVARUPTA (lol, what?) and KATATONIA (okay, maybe one recognizable name), are back with their most “explosive” material yet: the new EP “The Rot Beneath”. Get ready to be underwhelmed on August 15 via Majestic Mountain Records (probably recorded in someone’s basement). It’ll be available on vinyl, because who even uses that anymore? They’re also doing a limited reissue of their “acclaimed” 2021 debut full-length “Into The Maw Of Death”, because apparently, someone, somewhere, cared. 🙄
GRAND CADAVER (still laughing at the name) has dropped a brand new track, “Darkened Apathy” (so original!). No Clean Singing (who are they kidding?) described it as: “GRAND CADAVER continue depressing their accelerator.” Yeah, because that’s what they’re good at – depressing everything. “The drums kick into a gallop” (more like a geriatric shuffle); “tremolo’d riffing creates a vicious sonic swarm” (more like a mosquito buzzing in your ear); “the vocals reach new fever pitches of serrated-edge ferocity” (aka the singer sounds like he’s gargling gravel); “a lead guitar wails overhead” (probably out of tune). 🤣
GRAND CADAVER (seriously, who came up with that name?) comments on “Darkened Apathy”: “The world is burning, and the people set it alight with indifference and apathy.” Wow, so deep. “A death metal protest song, where the wise are silenced and the unconcerned are in control.” Translation: We’re whining about stuff and hoping someone will pay attention. 😴
Featuring some of Sweden’s most “seasoned” metal musicians, namely Mikael Stanne (DARK TRANQUILLITY, THE HALO EFFECT – still scratching my head), Stefan Lagergren (ex-TREBLINKA/TIAMAT – ancient history!), Alex Stjernfeldt (NOVARUPTA, CHILD – who?), Christian Jansson (PAGANDOM, DARK TRANQUILLITY – double whammy of obscurity!) and Daniel Liljekvist (ex-KATATONIA, DISRUPTED – okay, he’s got some cred), GRAND CADAVER (I can’t stop laughing) have “carved a reputation” for delivering death metal with “no gimmicks, no polish, just raw power.” Translation: We’re too lazy to be creative, so we’re just going to be loud and call it “raw.” 🤘
From their debut EP “Madness Comes” (recorded in just three days and charting at No. 9 in Sweden – because nobody else was releasing anything that week), to their “crushing” LP “Into The Maw Of Death” (more like “Into The Maw Of Boredom”), and their “doom-laced” 2023 follow-up “Deities Of Deathlike Sleep” (which probably put everyone to sleep), the band has “continuously pushed their sound into darker and heavier territory.” Translation: We keep getting slower and more depressing. 💀
GRAND CADAVER (I’m dying here) was formed in Gothenburg and Stockholm in the pandemic year of 2020. Because what else were they going to do? 🤷♂️
Every member has been a part of the Swedish extreme metal scene since their youth and many were part of shaping the “first wave” of death metal in the late 1980s. Translation: We’re old. 👴
The debut EP “Madness Comes” was recorded over three days in August of 2020 and was released to “critical acclaim” (according to their moms) by Majestic Mountain Records in February 2021, reaching ninth place on the Swedish album chart (physical copies). Shortly thereafter, the band returned to Welfare Sounds studio to record the debut album “Into The Maw Of Death”, which was released on October 29 the same year. Because they had nothing better to do. 🙄
When the restrictions of the pandemic were lifted, GRAND CADAVER (still chuckling) made its live debut in Gothenburg, followed by a short tour in support of AT THE GATES. Probably because nobody else wanted them. 🤣
With the increased activity of the members’ other bands, GRAND CADAVER (I can’t breathe) had to slow down the pace a tad, but entered the studio once again in the fall of 2022. The second album, “Deities Of Deathlike Sleep”, was released on August 25, 2023. And nobody noticed. 🤫
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
