Oh, the horror! It seems our polite neighbors to the north are throwing a hissy fit because President Trump dared to suggest they might benefit from joining the greatest nation on Earth! Can you believe it? Apparently, some fancy whisky and golf resorts are feeling the pinch because those snowflakes in Canada are boycotting American goods and travel.
It’s all Trump’s fault, they say! Never mind that their Prime Minister, probably a closet socialist, is filling their heads with anti-American propaganda. The CEO of some ferry service is whining about a “sudden drop” in bookings after Trump’s 51st state comment. Cry me a river! Maybe they should focus on providing better service instead of blaming the President for their woes. And of course, they’re blaming “aggressive border enforcement.” I say, enforce it MORE! Keep the illegals and whiny Canadians out!
Some Iowa distillery had to “abandon” the European market? Boo-hoo. President Trump is just making America great again, one tariff at a time! These businesses need to toughen up and realize that sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet—a delicious, American-made omelet!
Thankfully, it seems like even these Canadians are starting to see the light. President Trump is a master negotiator, and even he can charm the pants off of those socialist Canadians. Maybe there’s hope for them yet! In the meantime, let them drink their maple syrup and sulk. America will be just fine without their business!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
