Valentine’s Day is coming up, and you’re panicking because you haven’t planned anything special for your significant other. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with the ultimate list of co-op games that will either strengthen your relationship or completely destroy it.
Let’s face it, watching a movie together is so 2019. In this day and age, the only way to truly bond with your partner is by screaming at each other while trying to cook virtual meals or navigate through space. Trust me, nothing says “I love you” like throwing your controller across the room because your significant other couldn’t figure out how to use the shield in a spaceship.
First up, we have Overcooked! All You Can Eat. This game is perfect for couples who enjoy the thrill of arguing over who’s supposed to chop the onions while the kitchen is literally on fire. It’s like marriage counseling, but with more virtual grease fires and less progress. The best part? You can play this with up to four players, so invite your other couple friends over and make it a double date! Nothing brings people together like shared trauma and resentment.
If you’re looking for something a little more… Disney, then Disney Dreamlight Valley is the game for you. It’s like Animal Crossing, but with more Mickey Mouse and less Tom Nook trying to sell you a mortgage. You and your partner can build your own Disney-themed paradise, complete with Cinderella’s castle and Gaston’s tavern. Just don’t be surprised if one of you spends more time talking to Donald Duck than to each other.
For those of you who prefer a more relaxed gaming experience, Palia is the perfect choice. It’s a cozy MMO where you can farm, fish, and cook with your partner. It’s like Stardew Valley, but with more people to judge your poor farming skills. The best part? It’s free-to-play, so you can spend all your money on actual dates instead of virtual ones. Although, let’s be real, after a few hours of Palia, you’ll probably need a real date to remember why you like each other in the first place.
Now, if you’re feeling particularly masochistic, you might want to try It Takes Two. This game is literally designed to test your relationship. You play as a couple on the brink of divorce who get turned into dolls and have to work together to save their marriage. It’s like couples therapy, but with more platforming and less progress. The game is so effective at destroying relationships that it should come with a warning label: “Playing this game may result in actual divorce.”
For those of you who prefer a more retro gaming experience, may I suggest The Adventures of Cookies & Cream? This PS2 classic will have you and your partner working together to guide two rabbits through a series of increasingly difficult levels. It’s like It Takes Two, but with less story and more frustration. The best part? You can play the entire game with one controller, so you’ll have to sit uncomfortably close to each other the whole time. Nothing says romance like sharing a controller and your personal space.
If you’re looking for something a little more… unique, then Phogs! might be the game for you. You play as a two-headed sausage dog, and you have to work together to solve puzzles and navigate through various worlds. It’s like CatDog, but with more physics-based gameplay and less… well, CatDog. The best part? The game is so cute and cuddly that you’ll forget you’re slowly growing to resent your partner for not being able to control their end of the dog properly.
Of course, no list of co-op games would be complete without mentioning Stardew Valley. This farming simulator is perfect for couples who enjoy the thrill of virtual agriculture. You and your partner can work together to build the farm of your dreams, or you can sabotage each other’s crops and see who can drive the other insane first. It’s like FarmVille, but with more consequences and less Zynga.
For those of you who prefer a more action-packed gaming experience, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game is the perfect choice. You and your partner can fight your way through seven levels of 8-bit inspired beat-em-up action, all while trying to defeat Ramona Flowers’ seven evil exes. It’s like a comic book come to life, but with more button mashing and less character development.
And finally, we have Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime. This game is the perfect metaphor for any relationship: you and your partner are trapped in a neon spaceship, trying to navigate through an asteroid field while aliens are shooting at you. You have to work together to man the various stations on the ship, all while trying not to crash into anything. It’s like marriage, but with more lasers and less communication.
So there you have it, folks. The ultimate list of co-op games to play with your significant other this Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your relationship or completely destroy it, there’s a game on this list for you. Just remember, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. And if all else fails, you can always blame the game for your problems.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
