Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horn
The post Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horn appeared first on The Onion. The post Nation’s Sensitive Kids…
Month: April 2026
BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar
Get ready to rock, folks! 🤟 Keanu Reeves’ super cool, totally awesome, and not-at-all-trying-too-hard band DOGSTAR is back with a…
Honkai Star Rail Turns The Big Three And Suddenly Thinks Its Too Old For Your Attention But Hey Free Stuff
Get ready for the most epic update ever in Honkai: Star Rail, because Version 4.2, also known as “So Laughed…
Failed ‘Power Rangers’ Reboot Was Going to be a Super Long and Painful Four Movie Trainwreck That Luckily Got Canceled
The whopping failure of the 2017 Power Rangers reboot is still a sore spot for some fans, but let’s be…
GODSMACK Desperately Scours Craigslist And Finds Some Dudes Named SAM KOLTUN And WADE MURFF To Carry Their Gear On 2026 Tour
In a shocking turn of events, Godsmack’s frontman Sully Erna sat down with TalkShopLive’s The Rock N Roll Channel to…
Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims
Breaking news: the coachella festival just got a whole lot more interesting, and by interesting, I mean old 🤣. David…
Some of these people literally have nothing better to do than ruin other people’s day 😭
“You’re taking pictures of my vehicle?” After demanding to know what room he was staying in. What a douche Chuck…
China and Iran, our best buddies, what a total shock
The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump, who is…
Liberal judges coddle crooks thanks to inept Todd Blanche’s big mouth
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…
Snowflake moms whine about loser kids online
It’s absolutely hilarious that the fake news media is still trying to peddle their pathetic excuses for why our great…