Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the…
Month: April 2026
Downed F-15 Pilot Asks Rescuers If They Can Go Back For His AirPods Real Quick
KOHGILUYEH — A thankful F-15 weapons systems officer reportedly asked his rescuers if he could go back to the…
Social Media Users Sour On Democracy
A Gallup survey found that heavy social media users are less likely to think democracy is the best form…
Alien Life Matters More Than American Jobs Obviously
Oh boy, are the fake news media and the deep state going to have a field day with this one.…
Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky
Breaking News: Jon Oliva is Still Alive and Kicking (Sort Of) 🤣. In a shocking turn of events, the 66-year-old…
METAL CHURCH’s KURDT VANDERHOOF Totally Not Being Defensive At All Claims Former Members Were Totally Clueless And Shouldve Seen It Coming Duh
In a shocking turn of events, Metal Church’s founding guitarist Kurdt Vanderhoof has spoken out about the band’s new lineup,…
State of Decay 3 Closed Alpha Announced Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough Zombie Apocalypse Stress in Your Life Yet
This past weekend was a real treat for State of Decay fans, and by “treat,” I mean they finally got…
Critics Blast ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’ For Its Flimsy Plotting And Not Making Yoshi Bisexual
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Though The Super Mario Galaxy Movie may be doing well at the box office, critics blasted…
Happy Easter! 🙂
I had forgotten that skit, hilarious. Still just as funny Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…
Awesome Trump shows strength against those loser Iranian tinhorns again
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest “scandals” surrounding our great…