Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Tony Iommi, the legendary BLACK SABBATH guitarist, is collaborating with none other than William Shatner, the 95-year-old “Star Trek” legend, on his surprise metal album 🚀. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? 😂 Iommi confirmed the news in a recent interview with BBC Breakfast, saying he was initially hesitant but eventually came around to the idea. “Well, when I was asked if I’d do a track with William Shatner, I went, ‘What?’ I was wondering what it was gonna be like,” he said. Yeah, us too, Tony, us too 🤔.
So, it turns out that Shatner’s label, Cleopatra Records, approached him about making a heavy metal album, and he was all like, “What the F is heavy metal?” 🤷♂️ And thus, the title of the album was born. The project, which is being driven by a heavyweight production team, will feature guest appearances by several dozen other hard rock and heavy metal musicians, including Brian May, Rob Halford, John Moyer, and Dave Lombardo. Because, you know, that’s exactly what the world needs – a heavy metal album featuring a 95-year-old William Shatner 🙄.
Shatner’s Metal Cred
Shatner previewed several songs from the album at Riot Fest, including his own originals and covers of METALLICA’s “Enter Sandman”, Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train”, and MOTÖRHEAD’s “Ace Of Spades”. Because, you know, nothing says “heavy metal” like a 95-year-old man singing about being a “nice little child” 🎤. Iommi even praised Shatner’s lyrics, saying they’re “really good” and “really about what’s happening today”. Uh, sure, Tony, sure 🙃.
But wait, it gets better! Shatner’s approach to singing classic songs is to, uh, reinterpret them 🤔. Take “Enter Sandman”, for example. According to Shatner, it’s about a child molester 🚫. Yeah, because that’s exactly what that song is about 🙄. “I reinterpreted it,” Shatner said. “I said, ‘Well, who would say this?’ A child molester would talk like this.” Okay, Bill, sure 🙃.
The *Uckers
Shatner’s band, THE *UCKERS, features an all-star lineup of veteran rock musicians, including Marcus Nand, Phil Soussan, Britt Lightning, and Fred Aching. Because, you know, when you’re 95 years old, you need all the help you can get 🤣. The band performed at Riot Fest, and apparently, it was a huge success 🎉. Who wouldn’t want to watch a 95-year-old man singing heavy metal songs, right? 🤷♂️.
But seriously, folks, Shatner’s album is set to be released in 2027, and it’s going to be a “major thing in heavy metal” 🤯. With 50 of the greatest musicians, including Brian May, Rob Halford, and Dave Lombardo, it’s going to be a wild ride 🎢. And who knows, maybe it’ll even be good 🤔. But let’s be real, we’re all just here for the novelty of it all 🎉. I mean, William Shatner, the heavy metal singer – it’s a thing that’s happening, folks 🤯. So, buckle up, buttercup, and get ready for the most epic heavy metal album of 2027 🤘. 🎸
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
