In an EXCLUSIVE interview with RichardMetalFan94 (because, let’s be honest, who ELSE would care? 🤷♂️), OBITUARY bassist Terry Butler hinted that maybe, just MAYBE, if the stars align and their Depends don’t leak, we MIGHT get another OBITUARY album by 2026 or 2027. 👴👵He clarified, “We’re just kinda thinking about thinking about it.” So, you know, hold onto your dentures, folks; this could be BIG! Or, you know, just another OBITUARY album. 😴
OBITUARY, those geriatric death metal legends, recently celebrated the *checks notes* 35th anniversary of “Cause Of Death.” 🥳 Thirty-five years! That’s like, what, 500 in death metal years? They dragged their creaky bones across North America with NAILS, TERROR, SPIRITWORLD, and PEST CONTROL. I’m sure the nursing homes they played at were THRILLED. 🧓🤘
Their latest “studio” album, “Dying Of Everything,” dropped in January 2023 via Relapse Records. I put “studio” in quotes because, let’s face it, it probably sounds like it was recorded in someone’s basement using a potato. 🥔 But hey, at least it’s something to listen to while you’re waiting for their *next* earth-shattering masterpiece in 2027. Maybe. 🙄
In 2022, someone actually wrote a book about OBITUARY. 📖 It’s called “Turned Inside Out: The Official Story Of Obituary,” because apparently, people are DYING to know more about this band. 😂 Written by David E. Gehlke (who also wrote books about NOISE RECORDS and PARADISE LOST—talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel! 🤣), this biography promises to reveal all the juicy secrets of OBITUARY’s… well, existence. 🤔 I’m sure it’s a real page-turner. 😴
In an interview with Invisible Oranges, OBITUARY drummer Donald Tardy blamed COVID for the six-year gap between albums. Because, you know, it couldn’t POSSIBLY be because they ran out of ideas or anything. 🙄 He said they were “hell bound” to write an album after their SLAYER tour (because what better way to follow up SLAYER than with… OBITUARY? 🤪). But then COVID happened, and they were stuck at home, forced to “really focus” on their songs. Which, apparently, meant making them… slightly less terrible? 🤷♂️
Donald also whined, “I’m not 20 years old anymore, and there’s not that many more albums coming out of OBITUARY.” 😭 Oh, NO! What EVER will we do without more mid-paced, guttural death metal from these guys? He then added that this album was “super important.” Yeah, sure, Donald. Just like every other OBITUARY album is “super important.” 🙄
Regarding OBITUARY’s longevity, Donald said they’re just having a good time. Well, GOOD for them! 🎉 I’m sure their fans are having just as much of a good time listening to the same album they’ve been releasing for the past 35 years. 👴👵 He also mentioned that he and his brother have been friends with Trevor since they were 12 years old. Awww, isn’t that sweet? 🥰 They’re like, the death metal version of the Golden Girls. 👵👵👵👵
That same year, Donald told Kerrang! that their hiatus in 1997 was a “positive experience.” Translation: they realized they were boring everyone to tears and needed a break. 😴 He said they were “hungry again” when they got back onstage. Hungry for what? More Metamucil? 🥣
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
