OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a wet firecracker, maybe? 🪅), where they actually dared to show their faces live after hiding for two decades, these genre-defying (more like genre-confused 🥴) dudes are back! Back to grace us with their unique blend of nu-metal, hardcore, and metalcore – you know, the stuff your dad listens to while complaining about mumble rap. 👴 They’re allegedly working on a new album. Because, you know, the world was just screaming for another DRY KILL LOGIC LP since their earth-shattering “Of Vengeance & Violence” from the ancient times of 2006. 🤣
And hold your horses! 🐴 They’re also announcing the “Decades Of Distance Tour” 2026! A tour so epic, it’s been DECADES since they’ve bothered to visit these forgotten markets and venues. I bet the crickets 🦗 are thrilled to have some company.
So, DRY KILL LOGIC (originally known as HINGE – because even they knew their career was hanging by a thread 🧵) formed in 1994 and apparently “carved out a place” in the heavy music scene. I think they meant “scratched a tiny mark with a plastic spoon.” 🥄 Their 2001 debut, “The Darker Side Of Nonsense”, is supposedly a touchstone of the alternative metal era. Yeah, a touchstone of how NOT to make a lasting impression. But hey, songs like “Nightmare” and “Rot” still resonate with fans worldwide…all, like, five of them. 👋 Subsequent releases like “The Dead And Dreaming” (2004) and “Of Vengeance & Violence” (2006) saw them “evolve” their sound – or maybe just desperately try on different genres like a kid playing dress-up. 🎭 They even shared stages with giants like SLAYER, FEAR FACTORY, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE, DISTURBED, and MASTODON. I bet those bands were thrilled to have them open. 😒
After vanishing into the abyss in 2007, they dared to resurface with new singles “Vices” (2019) and “Don’t See Ghosts” (2020). 👻 Apparently, they actually thought they could reignite fan anticipation. Spoiler alert: nobody noticed. Then, in 2025, they made a “thunderous return” 🌩️ with some festival appearances and a couple of “sold-out” headline shows. Sold out to who? Their moms? 🤰 Their latest single, “Now You Belong With The Dead”, apparently bridges their classic heaviness with “new atmospheric intensity”. Translation: it’s still heavy, but now it has some reverb. 🎤
“This year has been an unbelievable dream,” says vocalist Cliff Rigano. 😴 “Now the time has come to write new music.” Please, Cliff, just go back to sleep. 🛌
DRY KILL LOGIC has officially begun writing its fourth full-length album, titled “Your Sins Will Find You”. 😈 How original. They’re supposedly drawing inspiration from recent collaborations with producer Greg Thomas and fueled by their earth-shattering return to the stage. The record promises to honor their roots and push their sound forward. Which, let’s be honest, means it’ll sound exactly the same. They’re building on tracks like “Vices”, “Don’t See Ghosts”, and “Now You Belong With The Dead”, while staying true to the raw aggression of classics like “200 Years”, “Boneyard”, and “Nightmare”. More like staying true to mediocrity. 💯
And as if that weren’t enough, DRY KILL LOGIC will hit the road in 2026 for the “Decades Of Distance Tour”, returning to long-absent markets. Because, you know, those markets were just DYING for them to come back. 💀 Select shows will feature support from New Jersey metal heavyweights DIZASTERPIECE. Because apparently, the only bands willing to tour with them are equally irrelevant. 🤡
“The excitement and anticipation are overwhelming,” says DRY KILL LOGIC guitarist Jason Bozzi. 🤥 “To finally return to these cities after all these years is something we never thought would happen. We’re incredibly excited to see everyone.” I’m sure the venues are THRILLED to have you. 🎉
2026 “Decades Of Distance Tour” dates:
March 27 – Austin, TX – Come & Take It Live (Good luck getting anyone to show up. 🙏)
March 28 – Dallas, TX – Puzzles Deep Ellum (More like puzzles why you’re still doing this. ❓)
April 18 – New Kensington, PA – Preserving Underground* (Preserving the sound of silence. 🤫)
April 19 – Millersville, PA – Phantom Power * (Phantom fans. 👻)
May 08 – Lakewood, OH – Mercury Music Lounge * (Hopefully, it’ll be a quick show. ⏱️)
May 09 – West Chicago, IL – WC Social Club * (WC as in, where everyone will be during your set. 🚽)
* With DIZASTERPIECE (Misery loves company. 🫂)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
