Oh No! Another Happy Haunting Gone Horribly Wrong

haunted mansion ride disney

OMG! 😱 A woman DIED πŸ’€ on the Haunted Mansion?! Like, seriously? Did she not read the fine print about the 999 happy haunts looking for a ROOM?! Obviously, they found one! This is what happens when you try to cheat the system and get a free ghostly souvenir. #HauntedMansionFail #DisneyDeathTrip #TooSpookyForYou

Okay, so like, KTLA πŸ™„ (who even watches that channel anymore?!) is saying this lady, who was like, ancient (in her 60s! πŸ‘΅), apparently had a “heart attack” after riding the Haunted Mansion. I mean, duh! It’s HAUNTED! Did she think it was all sunshine β˜€οΈ and rainbows 🌈? Maybe she should have stuck to It’s a Small World. #Basic

So, like, the EMTs or whatever showed up, and Disneyland security (aka, glorified janitors with walkie-talkies πŸ“») tried to do CPR. As if! CPR isn’t going to bring you back from the clutches of those spectral squatters! πŸ‘» They took her to the hospital, but like, surprise surprise, she was already ghosted! πŸ˜‚ Get it? Ghosted? #DeadJoke #SorryNotSorry

They don’t know what killed her yet? πŸ€” I have some theories: 1. Ghosts. 2. More Ghosts. 3. Maybe she saw the Hitchhiking Ghosts and realized she forgot to pay her student loans. #Priorities #RIP #Literally

The Haunted Mansion is like, SOOOO popular! πŸ™„ All the sheep πŸ‘ flock to it. Disneyland, Disney World, Tokyo Disneyland…soon they’ll be building them on Mars! πŸš€ And then people will die there too! #SpaceGhosts #Trending

LOL! πŸ˜‚ Wikipedia actually has a whole page dedicated to Disneyland accidents?! 🀣 Talk about a buzzkill! 🚫 No Haunted Mansion deaths though…until now! 😈 And Disney World? Oh, honey, people have been breaking bones 🦴 and stealing props πŸ’° for years! It’s a free-for-all! πŸ€ͺ #DisneyChaos #Lawless

Disney’s official site says the Haunted Mansion is “creepy fun for little ones”? πŸ‘Ά Um, hello?! πŸ’€ Death is NEVER fun! πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ And “mildly frightening”? Please! It’s terrifying! Those ghosts are savage AF! 😈 Don’t let your kids ride it unless you want them to develop a lifelong fear of the supernatural! πŸ‘» #ParentingFail #TraumatizedForLife

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Finn

Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.

Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true callingβ€”or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.

Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.

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