Ah, Game of Thrones, the show that peaked harder than my hairline in college. Six years gone, and we’re still milking this dead dragon? 🐉 Seriously, the books will never see the light of day, so HBO is desperately throwing prequels and spinoffs at the wall to see what sticks. House of the Dragon got renewed (because apparently, incest is still intriguing), and now we’re blessed with A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. 🙄 Can’t wait for more convoluted family trees and questionable plot decisions!
Remember when they first teased A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms: The Hedge Knight? What happened to that amazing title? Someone probably realized it was too long for the ADHD crowd. Anyway, this show is about some nobody knight and his “diminutive” squire a whole century before Jon Snow started brooding. Prepare for epic adventures filled with…hedgehogs? 🤔
The trailer dropped, featuring Peter Claffey as Dunk (who?) and Dexter Sol Ansell as Egg (wait, is this a cooking show?). Ira Parker is running the show, which means it’ll either be brilliant or another dumpster fire.🔥 Seriously, who greenlit this? Watch the trailer if you dare (but don’t say I didn’t warn you):
The official description says this is set when Targaryens were still sitting on the pointy chair and dragons were just a distant memory. Get ready for destinies, foes, and exploits! And a cast of characters so boring you’ll forget their names five seconds after they’re introduced. We’ve got Daniel Ings as Ser Lyonel Baratheon (a less charismatic Robert?), Bertie Carvel as Baelor Targaryen (who?), Danny Webb as Ser Arlan of Pennytree (sounds like a discount Ent), Sam Spruell as Maekar Targaryen (another Targaryen, yay!), Shaun Thomas as Raymun Fossoway (sounds like a rejected hobbit), Finn Bennett as Aerion Targaryen (more Targaryens!), Edward Ashley as Ser Steffon Fossoway (the hobbit’s brother?), Tanzyn Crawford as Tanselle (who even IS that?), Henry Ashton as Daeron Targaryen (surprise, another Targaryen!), Youssef Kerkour as Steely Pate (a chef?), Tom Vaughan-Lawlor as Plummer (a plumber?) and Daniel Monks as Ser Manfred Dondarrion (a guy who really likes storms?). 🎉 Seriously, this cast list is longer than a George R.R. Martin description of a feast.
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms premieres on HBO on January 18 at 10 PM ET/PT. Don’t forget to set your DVR (or just wait for the inevitable memes). It’ll also be on HBO Max, so you can hate-watch it in glorious HD. Only six episodes? Thank the old gods and the new. 🙏
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
