In a groundbreaking interview with Troy Culpan of May The Rock Be With You (a website so cool, you’ve probably never heard of it 😎), SUICIDAL TENDENCIES frontman Mike Muir, a man who clearly hasn’t aged since 1983, was asked about the ONE THING that’s remained constant in the band over their measly 45 years. Mike, in his infinite wisdom (as transcribed by the equally important BLABBERMOUTH.NET), declared that every show is possibly the last, every tour a potential swan song! 🎤 Because, you know, commitment is for normies. He’s “militant” about only doing what HE wants! Not like those sheep who chase “opportunities.” He wouldn’t want to get in their way! 🙄 Let them have their 15 minutes. He’s got, like, decades…
Muir, continuing his philosophical rambling, mused that one day, he’ll be old AF 👴, confined to a rocking chair, and all he’ll have is his mind. A truly terrifying prospect, we’re sure. That’s when the regrets hit hardest! Because, duh, no time machine. Thanks, Doc Brown! ⏰
Mike, channeling his dad (who we assume is also a profound genius), added that “regret lasts forever.” Deep. So deep, it’s practically a black hole! 🕳️ Think before you do it, kids! Or just don’t do anything, ever. Problem solved! This philosophy, he claims, has kept him “more sane.” We’ll let you be the judge of that. 🤪
In April, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES (still a band, apparently) dropped a new banger called “Adrenaline Addict.” Seven years since their last attempt at relevance! This musical masterpiece features Muir, the ever-present Dean Pleasants, some dude from THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN (RIP?), Tye Trujillo (because nepotism is alive and well! 👶), and a former SLIPKNOT drummer (who probably regrets his decision). Oh, and some singer named Nisha Star. Good for her! ⭐
SUICIDAL TENDENCIES also had the honor of supporting METALLICA on their 2025 North American tour! Because nothing says “cutting edge” like opening for a band that peaked in the ’80s! 🤘
Their latest album, “Still Cyco Punk After All These Years,” dropped in 2018. A reworking of Muir‘s solo album from 1996! Because originality is overrated. 🧠 It featured Dave Lombardo! So, that’s cool, I guess 🥁
In 2023, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES celebrated 40 years of their debut album! Wow, so old! They played shows in New York City, Silver Spring, Worcester, and Berkeley. Riveting! They also toured Australia! Because everyone loves a band that’s past their prime! 🇦🇺
Along with a bunch of other bands you’ve probably never heard of, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES is credited as one of “the fathers of crossover thrash.” They’ve released a gazillion albums, EPs, and other things. Who’s counting? 🤷
SUICIDAL TENDENCIES achieved early success with “Institutionalized.” Thanks, MTV! For giving us something to mock! 📺
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
