Day: December 31, 2024
Hoping To Win Back Conservatives, Disney Announces New Animated Film ‘Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled “Jumpy The…
Another Year of Satirical Brilliance (and Your Mediocrity)! 🎆 A Note from the Top Dog
Dear Readers (or as I like to call you, my unpaid chaos interns). Congratulations! You’ve survived another year on this…
Reformed Man Spends Relaxing Lord’s Day Blasting People In Theological Arguments Online
SUN VALLEY, CA — Sources close to Hodgson Lloyd-Jones Johnson confirmed earlier this week that the Reformed 32-year-old spent the…
Cousin’s Husband Says First Word
Read MoreThe OnionNORFOLK, VA—In what is being hailed as a huge milestone in the development of the man’s verbal skills,…