💀 Disney’s Streaming Disaster: 700K Gone, But They Say « Only Racists Left »! 🤯
The House of Mouse continues to burn faster than Anakin Skywalker on Mustafar. Walt Disney Corporation recently reported that its…
Month: February 2025
The Burger King Calls On Senators To Vote Against RFK Jr.
BURGER KING CASTLE — The Burger King issued an edict from his throne this week and urged senators to vote…
Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn
    Read MoreThe OnionBALTIMORE—Mutely observing as the lewd query was entered into the prompt, a pioneering female archaeologist featured in a…
10 Inefficiencies In Government Computer Systems Identified By DOGE Workers
The Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency has been on the warpath against federal waste and turning over every seedy…
Local Episcopal Church Announces 327 New Bible Study Groups For All The Genders
CINCINNATI, OH — St. Arthwyn’s Episcopal Church of Cincinnati has just expanded its discipleship offerings with 327 new Bible study…
Trump Proposes U.S. Takeover Of Gaza
    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Trump declared that the United States should seize control of Gaza and permanently displace the entire Palestinian…
All Senate Confirmation Votes Delayed Until Mitch McConnell Unfreezes Again
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The senate was forced to delay further confirmation votes for Trump’s cabinet this week, clarifying that all…
🎮 Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Causes Internet Traffic Jams — Torrents Collapse!
A rare phenomenon in the world of digital entertainment — a game without anti-piracy protection has caused internet traffic jams!…
Mitch McConnell Vows To Continue Falling Down Stairs In Face Of Fascist Takeover
    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Rebuking President Trump’s decision to pardon Jan. 6 rioters, Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) staunchly vowed this week to…
Man Working From Home Finally Ready To Start Day Now That Wife And Kids Are In Bed
ROCHESTER, MN — Business could finally get done after a local man who works from home was finally ready to…