Oh No: Admiral Piett Gets Email From Lord Vader Asking What He Accomplished Last Week
OUTER RIM — Following a sudden rise in rank, Admiral Firmus Piett was faced with his most challenging mission yet:…
Month: February 2025
Tips For Getting Involved At Your Child’s School
Read MoreThe OnionServing as a parent volunteer is a great way to bolster your child’s education as well as give…
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic…
Gamers in Shock! Putin from Tony Hawk Pro Skater Is Now in Call of Duty: Black Ops 6! 😲
Attention, true gamers and meme enthusiasts – brace yourselves for some shock content! Over the past few days, the internet…
Hooters Bankruptcy Deals Heavy Blow To Nation’s Creepy, Middle-Aged Weirdos
U.S. — The creepy, middle-aged weirdos of America were dealt a harsh blow today as the Hooters franchise announced it…
Bummed About That Hockey Game? Here Are 21 Things America Is Better At Than Canada
Are you a little sad that Canada won that hockey game the other night? Well, cheer up, friend: here are…
Unbelievable: Forgotten Icon or New Simpsons Character? Jessica Simpson Is Back! 🤣🍩🎶
Attention, pop culture and meme enthusiasts! After a 15-year creative hiatus—during which singer Jessica Simpson was all but forgotten except…
‘Wow, That’s Super Disturbing,’ Says Satan Watching Hamas Parade
HELL — Upon watching Hamas parade the bodies of murdered babies in celebration, Satan came away unsettled by the grotesque…
Congressional Gridlock After DOGE Fires Only Government Employee With Key To Capitol
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional work has come to a complete standstill after the Department of Government Efficiency fired the only…
Trump Envisions Modern Version Of Postal Service Where People Can Send Mail Electronically
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As rumors swirled that the administration may take over the operation of the post office, President Donald…