Trump Proposes Two Golf-Course Solution For Gaza
GAZA — A potential breakthrough in the Middle East peace process emerged this week with President Donald Trump proposing a…
Month: February 2025
Political Profile: Eric Adams
Read MoreThe OnionDespite calls for his resignation, New York City mayor Eric Adams has stated he is “not going anywhere.”…
Trump Claimed, Without Evidence, That 2+2 Makes 4. Not So Fast, Experts Say
WASHINGTON, D.C. — During a morning press conference about the state of the war in Ukraine, President Donald Trump suddenly…
Trump Claims Ukraine Started War
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Trump appeared to blame Ukraine’s leaders for the three year war with Russia, arguing Ukrainian President Volodymyr…
Trump Unable To Focus In Meeting As Pressure Of Booking Kennedy Center Summer Jazz Series Looms
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Amid efforts to prove himself as an effective chair of the performing arts organization, President Donald Trump was…
Paternity Test Reveals Luke Skywalker’s Father Actually Elon Musk
CORELLIA — Shockwaves were felt across the galaxy this week that experts predicted would be felt as far as the…
Dad Spends Daughter’s Wedding Day Thinking About History Of Oil
Read MoreThe OnionMOUNT CLEMENS, MI—With guests congratulating him and his family as his mind drifted back from the very beginnings…
🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬
Recently, it was revealed that Amazon MGM Studios signed a historic deal with Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson, heirs…
Finally: State Department Officially Classifies Los Angeles Dodgers As Terrorist Organization
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a long-awaited move that signaled a turning point in the war against evil and lawlessness, the…
Trump Boys Get Tongues Stuck To Frozen White House
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Flailing their arms and crying out in anguish, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were reportedly panicking Thursday…