OMG, you guys! 🙄 David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that* happened 🍆💦), is apparently rolling in so much dough 💰💰💰 he never has to work again! He told some dude named Meltdown at WRIF that he’s basically living the dream, doing stuff “purely for fun and for joy.” Like, who even DOES that? Must be nice to have so much FU money you can just do whatever TF you want! 🤣
Seriously, this guy. So, Al Pitrelli, the ex-MEGADETH guitarist, gave him the sage advice to say “yes” to everything. Like, YES to those “adult” videos that got him booted from Megadeth? 💀 But Ellefson says he learned his lesson after saying “no” to a few things and the phone stopped ringing. 📞🚫 I bet it did! Now he’s all about that “Yes Man” life, channeling his inner Jim Carrey and opening doors left and right. 🚪🚪🚪 I bet he’s saying “yes” to all sorts of “opportunities” these days, if you know what I mean. 😉
He claims these passion projects are “fun” and maybe even make him a little money. Yeah, I’m sure his coffee blends and horror movies are raking in the big bucks. ☕️🔪 He’s probably swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck, except instead of gold coins, it’s copies of his autobiography. 📚💰 But hey, at least he admits he usually invests his own money into these things. So, basically, he’s a rich dude playing rock star and calling it “fun.” 🙄
Oh, and get this, he’s quoting Dave Ramsey, the Christian debt-free guru. ✝️ Apparently, the REAL reason to get out of debt isn’t to buy more stuff for yourself, but to be charitable. 😇 So, Ellefson is basically implying that he’s a philanthropist now? After, you know, all the drama with Mustaine and the whole “adult” video fiasco? 😂 Talk about a redemption arc! 🙄 He says he’s investing in himself and his life to be of “best service to other people.” I wonder what kind of “service” he’s talking about. 🤔
Let’s not forget the epic history of Ellefson and Mustaine, shall we? From co-founding the band to Ellefson suing Mustaine for $18.5 million (!!!) over royalties. 💸💸💸 Can you imagine the tension on stage during those concerts? 😬 Talk about awkward! But hey, they kissed and made up (for a while), and Ellefson rejoined MEGADETH. But then, you know, Twitter happened. 🐦💥
And get this, he was a *salaried employee* after rejoining MEGADETH! 🤣 He went from being a co-founding owner to a sideman. He basically admitted he gave up ownership to retain a friendship. A friendship that ended in flames, might I add. 🔥
Mustaine’s version of the story is even more hilarious. He claimed Ellefson missed deadlines to accept his offer, which included a measly 20% of the royalties. 📉 No wonder Ellefson sued! Who wouldn’t want a bigger slice of the MEGADETH pie? 🍕
And finally, the grand finale: Ellefson getting fired from MEGADETH after those “sexually tinged messages” and “explicit video footage” surfaced. 🙈🙉🙊 I’m sure that was a fun conversation with Mustaine. “Hey Dave, about that video…” 😬
So, there you have it, folks. David Ellefson, the eternally optimistic, financially secure, “Yes Man” who just wants to have fun and be of service to others. 😇 Bless his heart. ❤️ Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go start a coffee blend and write a horror movie. Maybe I’ll get lucky and become a millionaire too! 🤣😜😂
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
