Oh, sweet nectar of schadenfreude! 😈 People Can Fly, the studio that brought you such bangers as… uh… Gears of War: Judgment (yeah, *that* one) and Outriders (remember the hype? 🤣), is back in the news, and it’s not pretty! Seems like they’ve “suspended” (read: YEETED INTO THE SUN ☀️) two whole games, leading to, you guessed it, more layoffs! Because nothing says “we’re a stable company” like constantly firing people. 🎉
Apparently, one of these “suspended” projects, codenamed Project Gemini (so original! 🙄), was supposed to be published by Square Enix, a company known for their impeccable business decisions and totally not selling off their studios for pennies on the dollar. 💸 The other, Project Bifrost (sounds like a rejected Marvel movie title), was a VR game. VR, you say? In 2025? Groundbreaking! 🙄 Of course, they’re still milking Gears of War: E-Day and working on Lost Rift, because nothing screams innovation like rehashing old IPs and generic survival shooters. 😴
According to some VGC “sources” (probably just disgruntled ex-employees), People Can Fly already axed over 30 devs on Project Gemini back in January. January! That’s like, half a year ago! Talk about keeping things under wraps. 🤫 CEO Sebastian Wojciechowski (try saying that five times fast!) whined on LinkedIn (where else?) about how “the Publisher” (Square Enix, we all know it’s you!) didn’t send them a “draft of the subsequent content rider” or even bother to communicate. Oh no! 😱 The horror! Sounds like someone forgot to read their contract. 🤷♂️ Maybe they were too busy playing Outriders? 🤔
Wesley LeBlanc (who?) from Bluesky (is that still a thing?) wants us to know that “suspended” is different from “canceled.” Wow, thanks for the insight, Wesley! 🤯 Maybe People Can Fly should hire you as their PR manager, since they clearly have no clue what they’re doing. 🤡
Wojciechowski continues to vaguely blame “the Publisher” and “the Publishing Agreement,” probably because he’s afraid of getting sued. 😨 Project Bifrost was also “suspended” because… wait for it… they ran out of money! 💸 No way! Who could have seen that coming? 🙄 He then expresses “deepest regret and sadness” and thanks everyone for their “contribution.” Yeah, yeah, save it for the unemployment line, buddy. 🙄
People Can Fly celebrated their 20th anniversary in 2022! 🎉 Twenty years of mediocrity! They were even owned by Epic Games for a while! Remember Fortnite? 💰 Good times. They also canned Project Dagger, a “co-op action RPG,” after Take-Two Interactive (another winner!) dropped them. So many canceled projects, so little time. ⏳
But hey, let’s not forget the real victims here: the shareholders! 😭 Just kidding! It’s the developers who are getting the boot. 🥾 But is it *all* Square Enix’s fault? 🤔 Maybe People Can Fly should look in the mirror. 🪞 Nah, that’s too hard. Blame the publisher! 🗣️ At least the devs can now update their LinkedIn profiles. 💼 Silver linings, people! Silver linings! ✨
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
