Oh, sweet merciful RNGesus, another game trailer dropped during Summer Games Fest 2025! 🙄 Build A Rocket Boy (who?) and IOI Partners (Hitman people, right?) decided to bless us with the cinematic masterpiece that is MindsEye, apparently mashing it up with the Hitman universe. Because, you know, that’s what we all wanted. More crossovers. More universes colliding. Less originality. 🤦♂️
Build A Rocket Boy and IOI Partners decided to grace us with a trailer for MindsEye during Summer Games Fest 2025. Because apparently, we haven’t had enough trailers this year. And guess what? It’s crossing over with the Hitman world. Yes, Agent 47 himself, the bald barcode-headed assassin, will be a playable character in MindsEye for a “specific mission.” 🙄 How original. But wait, there’s more! They’re also throwing in Le Chiffre, the crying blood guy from that ancient Casino Royale movie. He’ll be an Elusive Target in Hitman World of Assassination for, like, a month. Because nothing says “evergreen content” like a limited-time mission. 🤣
The new MindsEye trailer apparently showcases a “stunning near-future world.” I bet it’s just another dystopian cityscape with neon lights and flying cars. 😴 Explosive action-packed combat? Probably just another cover shooter with bullet sponge enemies. And a compelling journey of Jacob Diaz? Sounds like your typical angsty protagonist with a tragic backstory and a neural implant that’s the key to everything. Rogue AI, corporate corruption, humanity’s survival… haven’t we seen this all before? 🙄
And then they wheeled out Mads Mikkelsen, the Danish actor who played Le Chiffre, to talk about the collaboration. “Le Chiffre is a character I have always enjoyed – he’s calculating, cold, and ruthless,” he said. Yeah, we got it, Mads. You played the bad guy. Congrats. 🎉 “Bringing him into the world of Hitman makes for a thrilling collaboration.” Thrilling for whom? The marketing department? “Players can expect mind games, high stakes, and twists that only this character could orchestrate.” Sounds like a load of marketing buzzwords to me. 🙄 “To succeed, they’ll need to play their hand wisely,” Mikkelsen stated. Or, you know, just watch a YouTube tutorial. 🤷♂️
The MindsEye x Hitman mission is apparently the “first collaboration” announced. So, more crossovers are coming. Great. Just what the gaming world needs. More IPs mashing together like a toddler playing with action figures. 🤦♀️ And it’s part of the “long-term content roadmap” for MindsEye. Because, you know, games are never finished at launch anymore. Gotta keep that content drip going to keep the engagement metrics up. 📈 MindsEye will be an “ever-expanding player experience” with new premium content delivered monthly. Thanks to the power of BARB’s Game Creation System. Whatever that is. Sounds like a fancy way of saying “we’ll keep charging you for more stuff.” 💸
Mads Mikkelsen is back as Le Chiffre, the “iconic private banker to the criminal underworld.” Because, you know, every good villain needs a day job. 🏦 He’s lost a bunch of money in a “failed venture” (probably crypto), so he’s hosting a high-stakes poker game at the Casino Monarchique in Paris. Because Paris is always a good backdrop for a spy thriller. 🇫🇷 Agent 47 has to infiltrate the event and stop him from wreaking havoc. So, basically, it’s just another Hitman mission with a celebrity cameo. 🤷♂️
And to celebrate the reveal of 007 First Light (another game nobody asked for), players who play The Banker Elusive Target and sign up for an IOI account will get an exclusive suit to redeem in 007 First Light. So, basically, it’s just a convoluted marketing scheme to get people to sign up for more accounts. 🙄 MindsEye launches on June 10, 2025, and is available for pre-order now. Which includes a free upgrade to the Deluxe Edition. Because pre-ordering is always a good idea. Especially for games that might be buggy, unfinished, or just plain boring. 🤡 Pre-orders are available now! Go spend your money! 🤑
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
