OMG! 😱 Those geriatric Swedes in CLAWFINGER, yes, the ones your dad used to listen to while wearing JNCO jeans👖, have apparently been conned into signing a new record deal with Perception label, a division of Reigning Phoenix Music. Because who wouldn’t want to relive the glory days of… 1993? 🤣 A new single, tentatively titled “Sc*m” (how edgy!), is slated to drop “soon.” Which in band years, probably means sometime before the next ice age. 🧊
On Friday, June 20, CLAWFINGER, bless their hearts ❤️, took to social media to announce their questionable decision: “Well, well, well… look who signed a record deal again, just a quick 32 years after our first one. Yes, it’s true: we’ve officially signed with Perception label — a division of Reigning Phoenix Music.” Because apparently, someone still believes in the power of rap-metal in the year of our Lord 2024. 🤷♂️
“Do we understand how the music business works anymore? Absolutely not. Do we know if this is a brilliant move or a beautifully misguided one? Also no. Is the industry still a fickle beast that eats its young and spits out vinyl? Naturally. But are we thrilled to once again be caught in the trap? You bet your nostalgic little heart we are.” Oh honey, no. Nobody’s nostalgic for that. Maybe your moms are. 👵
“Here’s to new tunes, old habits, and making the same mistakes… but with better shoes.” Because priorities, right? 👟 Gotta look good while your career circles the drain. 🚽
“New song out soon. Sc*m.” Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. 💩
Last July, CLAWFINGER vocalist Zak Tell, bless his cotton socks 🧦, was cornered by Metal Mad TV and asked if the band would ever inflict another album upon the world following 2007’s “Life Will Kill You”. He responded: “Well, [GUNS N’ ROSES‘] ‘Chinese Democracy’ took a long time too.” Ah yes, comparing yourself to peak GNR. A bold move, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off. 🎲 “I don’t know. The thing is we don’t really have a record deal anymore. We have a management. We release stuff via his label whenever we feel like it. We have maybe like five songs almost ready now. Maybe we’ll release that as an EP.” Oh joy. 🎉
“I don’t know if there will be an album,” he continued. “I don’t know if there won’t be an album. We’re not planning an album. We write songs whenever we have ideas. Most of us have full-time jobs and do other stuff. So it’s a question of time, and we have families. It’s just putting the life puzzle together. So we don’t have an album in the making. But we do have a few songs that are ready, more or less.” So basically, don’t hold your breath. 💨
Asked if CLAWFINGER still graces the stages of small clubs, Zak said: “We only we only play really big festivals, because it’s more people and it’s more fun. No. To be honest, right now it’s just festivals over the summer. Maybe there’ll be some club dates later in the year.” Translation: Only if they pay us enough. 💰
“It’s different times,” he explained. “Buses cost more, planes cost more, crew cost more — everything has become more expensive. And we’ve done pretty much everything. But there’s one thing we refuse to do in our old age, and that is pay to play. We will not pay to play. But we’ve done that in the past. We did that in certain territories back in the ’90s and early 2000s. We’re not doing that again. We don’t need to make big money or be rich fucking rock stars or anything, but we wanna come back with something. And also, what a lot of people don’t realize is to put on a show, it costs you money. I mean, it probably costs us at least two thousand euro to do a gig — just in costs for crew members and flights. And it’s probably even more than that. I don’t know the figures, ’cause I’m just a stupid vocalist.” 🎤 (Accurate.) “But it costs money to play. It’s not free. You don’t just leave home and walk up on the stage, plug a guitar in and then go, ‘Okay.’ There’s a lot of work behind it. And especially in this streaming and TikTok age, people don’t realize that. They think everything is easy and simple.” Oh, the irony. 🙄
In March 2022, CLAWFINGER unleashed the official music video for its latest single, “Environmental Patients”. The track marked the first new music from CLAWFINGER in more than two years. Because the world was just clamoring for more. 🌎
Prior to the arrival of “Environmental Patients”, CLAWFINGER released a single called “Tear You Down” in September 2019 and “Save Our Souls” in 2017. “Save Our Souls” was made available four years after CLAWFINGER announced it was calling it quits. So consistent! 💯
During the break from the studio, the members of CLAWFINGER were reportedly taking care of their families while performing sporadic reunion shows, mostly at European festivals. “CLAWFINGER no longer is our main job,” the band explained at the time. “We all have other jobs and families to love.” Awww, how… responsible? 😴
CLAWFINGER‘s last studio album, the aforementioned “Life Will Kill You”, was released in the U.S. in July 2008 via Locomotive Records. The CD, which entered the German Media Control chart at position No. 89 upon its European release in 2007, was recorded and produced at Sweden’s Fear And Loathing Studios, a facility that CLAWFINGER runs along with the members of MESHUGGAH. So, yeah, a real powerhouse of… something. 🤷♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
