Oh, look, it’s been a whole four months since Monster Hunter Wilds graced (or disgraced) our consoles and PCs. Capcom, bless their clueless hearts, thinks another “free” update will magically fix everything. Spoiler alert: it won’t. 🤣
The Forbidden Lands, or as I like to call them, the “Lands Where My Frames Go to Die,” are getting even more “wild.” Capcom, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), announced yet another free title update during their Capcom Spotlight Digital Showcase. Yes, because what this game REALLY needs is more content, not, you know, actual optimization. They’re throwing in new weaponry, new missions, a new support hunter (because who needs friends when you have a digital babysitter?), and of course, new titan-sized creatures to grind into oblivion. 🙄 The trailer? Oh, it’s there, showcasing all the things that will probably lag your game into unplayable territory.
The Monster Hunter Wilds free title update is unleashing two new creatures upon us. First up, we have Lagiacrus, the Leviathan. This massive serpent apparently thinks it’s a jacuzzi by boiling the surrounding water with its electric currents. You can fight this lag-inducing beast after reaching HR 31 and completing some mind-numbingly boring missions. Sounds thrilling, right? 😒
But wait, there’s more! We also get Seregios, the flying wyvern. This acrobatic monster loves to inflict bleeding status, because apparently Capcom thinks we enjoy juggling a fight with inventory management. These missions are also available at HR 31, because everyone totally didn’t quit playing due to the performance issues by then.
Of course, Capcom isn’t just adding monsters. They’re also “improving” character customization with the Layered Weapon system. Now you can make your weapon look like something else while keeping the stats of another! Because fashion is the true endgame, am I right? 💅 You can unlock these by crafting the final weapon in that weapon’s upgrade tree. Because who doesn’t love more grinding?
This “free” update comes at the perfect time: when Monster Hunter Wilds is getting absolutely hammered with negative reviews on Steam. Fans are complaining about performance issues, the lack of new monsters, and the complete absence of endgame content. Apparently, a stable frame rate is too much to ask for these days. 😭
What was once a glimmer of hope has now turned into a raging dumpster fire, with Steam reviews plummeting to “Overwhelmingly Negative.” One Reddit user perfectly summed it up: “Can’t argue with performance. I just stopped playing because of all the frame drops and crashing.” Another replied with a simple, yet powerful, “Same Here.” The masses have spoken, Capcom. Are you listening? Probably not. 🙉
The Monster Hunter Wilds second free title update is dropping on June 30th. Will it save the game? Probably not. Will it give us something new to complain about? Absolutely. 🎉
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
