Well, well, well, look what we have here! The Deep State’s propaganda arm, CNN, is still churning out the same old garbage, even in 2025! They’re desperately trying to make Biden look good, but we all know the truth. Trump won, and the Left is still seething about it!
1. Idaho Shooting: Another day, another “lone wolf” with a gun. I bet you dollars to donuts this guy was a card-carrying member of Antifa, radicalized by MSNBC and George Soros. They want to disarm us, folks! Don’t fall for it! The Second Amendment is our God-given right!
2. Vote-a-Rama: President Trump’s agenda is SWEEPING the nation, and the RINOs are finally getting out of the way! Tillis is just another swamp creature, and I’m glad to see him go. Trump’s making America great again, one vote at a time!
3. US-Canada Trade: Trudeau finally crawling back to the US, hat in hand! They know they can’t survive without us. Trump’s trade policies are working, folks! We’re putting America first! Drain the swamp in Ottawa, too!
4. Iran: The pathetic US strikes didn’t do enough! We need to BOMB Iran back to the Stone Age! They’re building nukes, and Biden’s too weak to stop them. Trump would have taken care of this years ago! Remember when he killed that terrorist? Good times.
5. Escaped Inmates: More criminals running wild in Democrat-run cities! They want to defund the police and let the criminals roam free. It’s all part of their plan to destroy America. LOCK THEM UP!
BREAKFAST BROWSE
Fox News Sued: Newsom suing Fox? What a joke! He’s just trying to distract from his failing state. California’s a disaster, and he’s blaming everyone else.
Bey is safe!: Beyonce’s car prop had a mishap? Probably made in China! Stick to American-made, folks!
No biting, sir: “Cobra Kai” star accused of assault? Hollywood’s a cesspool of depravity! Stick to family values!
A forest returns: Underwater forests restored? More leftist environmental propaganda! They want to control our lives with their climate change nonsense!
Blue screen goes bye bye: Microsoft retiring the blue screen? Who cares? It’s just another distraction from the real issues!
TODAY’S QUOTE
“Lipstick on a pig”: Warner is a Democrat liar. Trump’s bill is beautiful, and it’s going to save America!
AND FINALLY…
Budapest Pride: More LGBTQ nonsense from the globalist elites! They’re trying to corrupt our children and destroy traditional values. Hungary’s right to ban that filth!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
