OMG! 👴🏻🎸⚡️ AC/DC, those geriatric rockers who haven’t had a decent album since, like, the Stone Age, are apparently dragging their fossilized bones back to Australia for a tour. Someone check their pulse! 🚑
This “five-date trek” 🗺️ will allegedly “kick off” (more like wheeze into existence) on November 12 at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Prepare for overpriced beer 🍺 and the faint smell of Bengay. They’ll also be boring Sydney, Adelaide, Perth, and Brisbane with their “music” before someone finally pulls the plug on December 14. And guess who’s “supporting” them? AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS. Oh, joy. 🙄 Is this some kind of boomer fever dream?
This tour, brought to you by TEG (whoever they are), is supposedly AC/DC‘s first in Australia since 2015. Honestly, who even noticed they were gone? 🤔 Probably too busy listening to actual good music.
Tickets will be available at “staggered times” on Thursday, June 26. Get ready to fight hordes of boomers with more money than sense for the privilege of seeing these guys pretend they’re still relevant. 💸👵🏻👴🏻
AC/DC 2025 Australian tour with special guests AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS:
Nov. 12 – Melbourne Cricket Ground (Prepare for hearing aids to malfunction en masse) 🦻
Nov. 21 – Sydney Accor Stadium (Hope they have a defibrillator on standby) 🫀
Nov. 30 – Adelaide bp Adelaide Grand Final (Is this a concert or a gas station promotion?) ⛽
Dec. 04 – Perth Optus Stadium (Probably sponsored by Viagra) 💊
Dec. 14 – Brisbane Suncorp Stadium (The final nail in the coffin?) ⚰️
The “Power Up” tour shares its name with AC/DC‘s 2020 album, which, against all odds, apparently hit No. 1 on the ARIA chart in Australia and 20 other countries. Who are these people buying this stuff? 🤔 The album also got a “No. 1 debut” on the Billboard 200 and was hailed as one of the “best-selling albums of 2020.” By whom? Their grandkids? 👴🏻👵🏻 Rolling Stone and Consequence of Sound (are they still a thing?) even put it on their “Top 50 Albums Of 2020” lists. Probably as a joke. 😂 And, wait for it, it got Grammy Award nominations! For “Best Rock Album,” “Best Rock Performance,” and “Best Music Video” for “Shot In The Dark.” Clearly, the Grammys are rigged. 🙄
In 2024, the “Power Up” tour kicked off in Europe, selling a “staggering” 1.7 million tickets. Staggering is right. Who knew so many people were still clinging to the past? They eventually sold over 2 million tickets across 24 shows. The band just finished 10 “sold-out” shows in North America (probably because tickets were, like, $5) and has 15 more scheduled in Europe before gracing Australia with their presence. 👑
AC/DC played their first show on December 31, 1973, at Chequers Nightclub in Sydney. So, they’ve been doing this for over half a century? Time to retire, guys. Seriously. They’re one of the “most influential rock bands in history,” with over 200 million albums sold. Mostly to people who haven’t bought music since the ’80s. 💾 Their “Back In Black” LP is the “best-selling album by any band ever.” Congrats? 🤷♂️
AC/DC was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in 2003. Because, of course, they were. The band “continues selling out stadiums,” “selling millions of albums annually,” and “generating streams in the billions.” Mostly from background music in dive bars. 🍻
The “Power Up” 2024 European tour marked AC/DC‘s first with their “new” touring lineup. Which is basically a bunch of replacement parts. We’ve got Brian Johnson, who can still somehow scream into a microphone. Then there’s Angus Young, the only original member left, still doing his duckwalk in a schoolboy outfit. Stevie Young is there because someone had to replace his uncle Malcolm Young. Matt Laug is on drums because Phil Rudd is probably in jail again. And Chris Chaney is filling in on bass because Cliff Williams finally had enough. 🤣
AC/DC‘s “Power Up” album came out in November 2020. It was recorded in 2018 with producer Brendan O’Brien, who also worked on “Black Ice” and “Rock Or Bust.” So, basically, it all sounds the same. 😴
AC/DC‘s current tour comes nine years after Johnson bowed out of a 2016 run of shows due to a hearing condition. Irony, much? 👂
In conclusion, if you have a spare kidney you don’t need, sell it and buy a ticket. Otherwise, stay home and listen to something that doesn’t sound like it was recorded on a cassette player in 1978. 📼 Peace out. ✌️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
