OMG! 🤣The geriatric crew of BIOHAZARD, those relics from the Stone Age of Nu-Metal, have finally dropped a music video for their new banger, “Eyes On Six”. This track is, allegedly, from “Divided We Fall”, their first “studio album” in what feels like a geological epoch! It’s dropping October 17 via BLKIIBLK, which sounds like someone choking on alphabet soup.🤮 Prepare for some serious cringe!🤢
According to BIOHAZARD‘s resident philosopher-king, Billy Graziadei, and I use that term loosely😂: “You don’t have to come from the ‘cold streets’ to feel like the odds are stacked against you.” Translation: “Even if you’re living in a gated community, you can still pretend to be oppressed!” He continues, with the profound insight only a washed-up rockstar can provide: “When we find ways to survive, against all odds, we adopt a mindset of welcoming challenges.” Oh, so that’s how it works? Genius!🤯 “Forged in fire, that strength and determination and grit and heart is the underlying credo of BIOHAZARD.” I’m pretty sure the only thing they’ve forged in fire is their rapidly diminishing relevance.🔥 He concludes with a promise: “Knock us down nine times, we’ll get up a tenth time and push forward, no matter what! No matter where you come from, play your cards right, know who your friends are, and keep your circle tight!” Translation: “We’re desperate for attention, please buy our album! 🙏Please!!!”😂
In a recent interview with some irrelevant radio station in Iowa (Lazer 103.3 – never heard of it!), Graziadei and BIOHAZARD‘s bass-slapping buffoon, Evan Seinfeld, actually dared to speak about “Divided We Fall”. When asked if it was weird getting back in the studio after so long, Billy rambled on: “I would say no, because we didn’t get together… We put the band back together. We’re the only band from the ’90s that has original guys, and we didn’t realize that until three years later.” So, they’re patting themselves on the back for being old? 👴Okay… “But we got back together. We had two shows booked, three shows, and we pretty much all just kind of went with the flow. We really didn’t make much plans. If we would’ve sat down and said, ‘Hey, let’s put the band back together. Let’s have go on tour for a couple of years, have some amazing shows, and let’s do a record.’ Any time we kind of planned things in our career, it never worked out.” Translation: “We’re completely clueless, and luck is the only reason we haven’t faded into complete obscurity yet!”👏 He then spews this garbage: “So BIOHAZARD was never like a big business entity that planned all these things with this huge marketing plan and this business proposal that works to the tee. We’re the underdog.” Underdog? More like under a rock!🪨 “So, being the underdog, our back’s against the wall, we come out swinging, and we make it up as we go along. And it works.” Yeah, “works” if your definition of success is playing to half-empty venues full of nostalgic boomers. 👴👵
When asked about working with producer Matt Hyde (who, let’s be honest, probably regrets the decision), Evan chimed in with: “Matt‘s awesome. We’re all very experienced in recording music, obviously.” Oh, really? Because the last album sounded like it was recorded in a tin can. 🥫”And some of the guys — Billy has his own studio — everyone in this band’s prolific and can make an album.” Prolific? More like pathetic!😂 “The role of the producer is to bring it together into like a common unified vision. And Matt shot us down, like, day one.” Shot them down? Probably because their ideas were terrible!🤣 “I think we were all kind of overthinking, what’s gonna be the progression? What’s the next step for BIOHAZARD?” The next step should be retirement! 😴”And he was, like, ‘Hey, man. You guys are BIOHAZARD. You’ve gotta just make a BIOHAZARD record like it’s 1993, bro.'” So, he’s telling them to stay stuck in the past? Great advice! 👍”And we were, like, ‘Wait. Wait a second. You mean like what we naturally just kind of sound, you think that’s what people want?'” No, they don’t! 🙅♀️”And he was, like, ‘Yeah, ’cause only you guys can do that.’ And we looked at each other, like, ‘Aha.’ And next thing we know, album’s done and we’re all psyched and we’re on the phone with you on the radio.” Translation: “We’re easily manipulated, and we’ll believe anything someone tells us if it strokes our egos!”🤪
Billy, ever the wordsmith, also decided to share his profound insights on the lyrical themes of “Divided We Fall”: “One of the things that I think that everyone gravitated to BIOHAZARD for when we started was the realism.” Realism? I thought it was the awful rapping.🎤 “We always wrote, and we only write, about things that are real to us, things that we experience, things that we go through.” So, songs about complaining about being rich and famous? 🤔”And when that resonates with somebody else… That’s why we all love BLACK SABBATH, we all love Ozzy [Osbourne], we all love TOOL and all the other bands that we love because there’s a certain symbiotic kind of connection that we have.” Comparing themselves to BLACK SABBATH and TOOL? That’s rich!😂 “With BIOHAZARD, our lyrics are straight up in your face and they’re honest.” Honest? I’d call them generic and cliché. 🤮”And I think that, if you go look at the comments… We dropped two singles [so far from the upcoming album], but those lyrics… Look at the comments on the video. Everyone’s, like, ‘They’re back. I feel 16 again.'” Yeah, 16 and easily impressed. 🤦♀️”And if you’re 16, you’re gonna relate to it like someone who’s 29 was relating to it when they were 16. So it’s great to be relevant and doing what we do. We’re proud of what we have. The record ‘Divided We Fall’ is the BIOHAZARD record of all BIOHAZARD records.” So, it’s just as mediocre as all their other records? Got it!💯 “In our opinion, this is gonna go up there with ‘Urban Discipline’ and ‘State Of The World Address’. And we can’t wait to bring it to your part of the world.” Please don’t! 🙏
In case you’re interested (you’re not), BIOHAZARD has unleashed THREE singles from this monstrosity: “Eyes On Six”, “Forsaken”, and the oh-so-edgy “F**k the System”.🙄
Graziadei, channeling his inner revolutionary, spewed: “‘F**k the System’ is BIOHAZARD calling it like it is. The powers that be have us at odds and beefin’ with each other while they sit back and cash in. It’s no accident the world’s burnin’ in front of our eyes. It’s all divide and control — while they keep us divided by politics, class, race, all of it, and have us out here fighting each other, they’re pulling the strings. ‘F**k the System’ is our war cry about the state of the world with no sugarcoated bullshit.” Translation: “We’re jumping on the bandwagon of political outrage to sell records!” 💰 So brave!🙄
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by the masochistic Matt Hyde,“Divided We Fall” supposedly captures BIOHAZARD at their most raw, relentless, and unifying. It blends their “unmistakable fusion of hardcore, metal, and streetwise groove” (read: a confused mess of genres) with a “sharpened edge for a fractured modern world.”
