Oh joy, the future of Superman is so bright, I gotta wear, not one, but TWO pairs of shades 😎. I mean, because apparently, it’s brighter than a thousand suns, which is totally believable and not at all hyperbolic 🙄. Thank you, James Gunn, for saving us from the dark ages of…checks notes…slightly less shiny superhero movies.
So, our benevolent overlord, James Gunn, graced us with his presence on The Viall Files With Nick Viall podcast. I didn’t even know that podcast existed, but now that I do, I’m questioning all my life choices 🤔. Anyway, Gunn, in his infinite wisdom, decided to bless us with a glimpse into his master plan for the new DC Universe’s Superman saga. Prepare yourselves, peasants, because it’s gonna be HUGE. Like, bigger than Superman’s ego after saving a cat from a tree 😹.
Forget your measly trilogies, you uncultured swine! Superman is getting FOUR movies. That’s right, FOUR! Because apparently, three movies just aren’t enough to explore the complex, multi-layered character that is…Superman 😴. I can barely stay awake through one Superman movie. What fresh hell is this??
“I am like thinking, ‘What is the long-term story I’m telling here? What is the story that I’m gonna tell about Superman over four movies?’” Gunn said on Viall’s podcast. What could he possibly be thinking?? Maybe Superman will finally learn how to do his taxes? Or perhaps he’ll struggle with the existential dread of being an alien with god-like powers? 🤯 The possibilities are endless! (But probably boring 😒)
And don’t you dare complain about waiting, you impatient little gremlins, because Gunn is already on it! The treatment for the next movie is done! A “very, very worked out treatment,” no less! I didn’t even know treatments could be “worked out.” Does that mean it goes to the gym and lifts weights? 💪 Or does it just get a really good massage? 💆 I’m so confused!
“I’ve already finished the treatment for the next story in what I’ll call the ‘Superman Saga.’ The treatment is done, which means a very, very worked out treatment. I’m working on that and hopefully going into production on that not too far away from today,” the filmmaker teased. Oh, James, you tease! You’re practically dangling the keys to the Fortress of Solitude in front of us. Just tell us already, is Lex Luthor going to wear a wig this time? 🤡
Earlier this week, Gunn confirmed on the I Think You’re Overthinking It podcast that the “next movie we’re [DC Studios] gonna be making is the follow-up to Superman.” Well, duh! What else would it be a follow-up to? Batman vs. Aquaman: Dawn of Justice League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? 🙄
While the plot details are shrouded in more secrecy than Area 51, Gunn did drop a few cryptic hints on the Crew Call With Anthony D’Alessandro podcast. “It’s within the group of characters we’ve already met, and Superman’s an important element of it. So, that’s what I’ll say, but like that movie, that treatment is done,” he said. Translation: We have no original ideas, so we’re just going to recycle the same characters and hope you don’t notice ♻️.
From that little soundbite, we can only assume that the Justice Gang (Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, and Mister Terrific) will play a bigger role in the next Superman movie. Because what this franchise really needs is MORE characters. Let’s just throw everyone in there and see what sticks! It’ll be like a superhero version of a clown car 🚗🤡!
Superman, which kicked off Chapter One of the new cinematic DC Universe, graced theaters on July 11. The film grossed $598 million against an estimated $225 million budget. So, basically, they made enough money to fund a small country. Good for them 👍. Now give us something we actually want to see!
Superman is available for rent or purchase on digital now. So, if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time and money, go ahead and watch it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you ⚠️.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
