Okay, hold onto your hats, folks, because TECNO just dropped a whole heap of “innovations” at Computex 2025 that are totally going to change your life… or at least, that’s what they WANT you to think. We’re talking about the TECNO Watch 3 Active, Watch 3 Pro (because one watch wasn’t enough, apparently), some AI Glasses that probably spy on you, and True 2 Earbuds, which, let’s be honest, are just earbuds. Prepare to be amazed… or mildly inconvenienced by the sheer amount of marketing buzzwords. 🙄
First up, the TECNO Watch 3 Active. It’s got a 2.02-inch HD display! Because who needs to see the real world when you can stare at a tiny screen on your wrist? It also boasts a “high-density metal case” and “ultra-hard glass” because apparently, they anticipate you’ll be using it to fend off wild animals or something. 🐅 It has over 100 exercise modes, because who ACTUALLY uses more than three? And 150 customizable watch faces! Finally, a way to express your individuality by choosing from 150 slightly different digital clock faces. Bluetooth calling is included, so you can now annoy everyone around you with your wrist-based phone calls. Oh, and it’s IP68 water and dust resistant! Perfect for when you’re swimming in a pool of dust. 🏊♀️ The battery lasts up to 12 days, which is great because who wants to charge another gadget every night? I mean, come on!
But wait, there’s more! Introducing the TECNO Watch 3 Pro! 🎉 It’s like the Active, but, you know, “premium.” It’s got a “high-resolution touchscreen” because apparently, the Active’s screen was just peasant-level. It also comes with “advanced health tracking,” which I’m sure is totally accurate and not just randomly generated numbers designed to make you feel like you’re doing something healthy. It monitors your heart rate and analyzes your sleep! So now you can obsessively track every single beat of your heart and every minute you toss and turn at night. Fun! 🤪 It supports Bluetooth and Wi-Fi connectivity, because why not? And voice assistants! So you can yell at your watch in public and look like a crazy person. 🗣️ App integration is included, because nothing screams “convenience” like having even MORE notifications buzzing on your wrist.
Now, let’s talk about the REAL stars of the show: the TECNO AI Glasses! 🕶️ They come in two models: the TECNO AI Glasses and the TECNO AI Glasses Pro. Because, again, why have one when you can have two? These glasses feature a 50MP ultra-clear camera! Perfect for discreetly recording everyone around you. They also have ColorVisionary filters, because reality is just too boring. SmartSnap AI photography is included, so you can take even MORE pictures of your avocado toast. 🥑 But the real kicker is the Ella AI Assistant! It provides real-time object recognition! So you can finally know what that weird thing in your fridge is. It gives you restaurant reviews! So you can blindly follow the opinions of strangers on the internet. And it offers translation support for over 100 languages! So you can finally understand what that guy shouting at you in Italian is saying. 🤌 The TECNO AI Glasses Pro incorporates WaveGuide technology AR display, co-developed with Meta-Bounds! Which basically means they teamed up with the metaverse people to make sure you never have to look at the real world again. It has a MicroLED screen with 1500 nits brightness! So you can stare directly into the sun without damaging your eyes… probably.
Last but not least, we have the TECNO True 2 Earbuds! 🎧 They promise “immersive audio” with dual drivers! Because apparently, one driver just isn’t enough to assault your eardrums. They have 3D spatial sound! So you can feel like you’re in a movie theater, even when you’re just listening to elevator music. They have hybrid active noise cancellation of up to 45dB! So you can completely block out the world and live in your own little bubble. They have six microphones per earbud! Because apparently, two ears need six microphones to accurately pick up sound. They offer AI-enhanced call clarity! So you can sound even MORE robotic on your phone calls. They have ultra-low latency at 70ms! Which, let’s be honest, you probably won’t even notice. And they promise a whopping 40-hour battery life! So you can listen to music for almost two whole days without having to recharge them. Unless you crank up the volume to max, then it’s probably more like 4 hours. 🔋
So there you have it, folks! TECNO’s latest attempt to take over the wearable tech market. They’ve combined AI-driven smart technology with enhanced connectivity, health tracking, and immersive experiences! Which basically means they’ve crammed a bunch of buzzwords into a bunch of gadgets and hope you’ll buy them. They have gone all out, covering all the wearable bases at Computex 2025! Because why leave any stone unturned when you’re trying to sell people things they don’t need? 🤷♀️
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
