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Day: December 4, 2024

Daniel Penny Jury Deliberations Delayed Due To Three Jurors Being Severely Beaten On Subway Ride To Courthouse
Babylon Bee

Daniel Penny Jury Deliberations Delayed Due To Three Jurors Being Severely Beaten On Subway Ride To Courthouse

December 4, 2024

NEW YORK CITY — Jury deliberations in the trial of Daniel Penny were delayed this afternoon after three of the…

Cherished Pet Lives On As WiFi Password
Babylon Bee

Cherished Pet Lives On As WiFi Password

December 4, 2024

MONTROSE, OH — Despite her passing, local family pet “Miss Dixie” continues to live on as the WiFi password for…

🎸 British Band Sports Team Robbed at Gunpoint in Sunny California — Welcome to America!
🔫 Guitars, Guns, and Gas Stations: Sports Team’s American Nightmare Begins!
Music News

🎸 British Band Sports Team Robbed at Gunpoint in Sunny California — Welcome to America!

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2024December 4, 2024

The six-piece London-based indie rock band Sports Team had a rude awakening to the American Dream just ten minutes into…

The Onion

Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting appeared first on The Onion.  

To Increase Excitement, MLB To Allow Each Team To Call In One Tactical Air Strike Per Game
Babylon Bee

To Increase Excitement, MLB To Allow Each Team To Call In One Tactical Air Strike Per Game

December 4, 2024

NEW YORK, NY — In addition to exploring the use of a “golden at-bat” in which teams could send their…

Trump Announces Plan To Annex Canada And Rename It ‘Gay North Dakota’
Babylon Bee

Trump Announces Plan To Annex Canada And Rename It ‘Gay North Dakota’

December 4, 2024

PALM BEACH, FL — In his most impactful promise yet in the lead-up to being inaugurated in January, President-elect Donald…

The Onion

How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation 

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting…

Confused Senior Citizen Pledges $1 Billion To Exiled Nigerian Prince
Babylon Bee

Confused Senior Citizen Pledges $1 Billion To Exiled Nigerian Prince

December 4, 2024

WORLD — After receiving a compelling email, a confused senior citizen has reportedly pledged to give one billion dollars to…

The Onion

Take The Cannoli

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Take The Cannoli appeared first on The Onion.  

The Onion

Nation’s Mumblers March On Washington Demanding Something Or Other

December 4, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—With a half-whispered murmur of “Hey, hey, ho, ho, [inaudible] has got to [inaudible],” thousands of the nation’s…

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