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Day: December 19, 2024

‘Elon On The Shelf’ Installed In All Congressional Offices To Remind Lawmakers To Be Efficient
Babylon Bee

‘Elon On The Shelf’ Installed In All Congressional Offices To Remind Lawmakers To Be Efficient

December 19, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump was still several weeks away from taking office, but the implementation of new policies…

Civilization VII To Include ‘Bidenomics’ Tech Tree Upgrade Where Inflation Ruins Everything And Eggs Go Up To $12
Babylon Bee

Civilization VII To Include ‘Bidenomics’ Tech Tree Upgrade Where Inflation Ruins Everything And Eggs Go Up To $12

December 19, 2024

SPARKS, MD — The hotly anticipated next installment of the popular Civilization franchise, Sid Meier’s Civilization VII, will reportedly expand…

Members Of Congress Explain They Need Pay Raises To Keep Up With The Inflation They Caused
Babylon Bee

Members Of Congress Explain They Need Pay Raises To Keep Up With The Inflation They Caused

December 19, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though Americans were up in arms when news broke that lawmakers were pushing to give themselves an…

The Onion

Building Shitty Gingerbread House Just Making Depression Worse

December 19, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionMINNEAPOLIS—Looking glumly at the mess of candies and royal icing, local 44-year-old Anthony Renton told reporters Thursday that…

8 Reasons Congress Deserves Raises
Babylon Bee

8 Reasons Congress Deserves Raises

December 19, 2024

Is there any group of people that work harder than Congressmen? No. No there is not. And yet, these poor,…

The Onion

Ho, Ho, Ho, I’m Regrowing My Foreskin!

December 19, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Ho, Ho, Ho, I’m Regrowing My Foreskin! appeared first on The Onion.  

Disgusting: New Woke Superman Movie Features Guy Wearing Underwear Over His Pants
Babylon Bee

Disgusting: New Woke Superman Movie Features Guy Wearing Underwear Over His Pants

December 19, 2024

WOKE ALERT! Hollywood is once again bringing its not-so-secret GAY AGENDA into your home with the new Superman film which…

Ignorant Boomer Tries To Pay With Cash
Babylon Bee

Ignorant Boomer Tries To Pay With Cash

December 19, 2024

MILWAUKEE, WI — Recent security camera footage of Martha Holmes shows that the 73-year-old Wisconsin native ignorantly attempted to use…

🎶 Dave Grohl’s Daughter’s Band Drummer Fears «”Hawkins Destiny”» — And Backup Vocalist Channels Kurt Cobain! 🎤
🔪 Is the Curse of Nirvana Haunting Dave Grohl’s Family Band? “Not Buying Guns, Not Doing Drugs”! 🙏
Music News

🎶 Dave Grohl’s Daughter’s Band Drummer Fears «”Hawkins Destiny”» — And Backup Vocalist Channels Kurt Cobain! 🎤

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2024December 19, 2024

Violet Grohl, the 18 – year – old daughter of rock legend Dave Grohl, is making waves with her upcoming…

The Onion

Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid

December 19, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Stressing that the procedure offered affected individuals their best chance at recuperation, experts at Northwestern University’s medical school…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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