Okay, so apparently THE RASMUS, those guys who peaked in, like, 2003 with “In the Shadows” (still a banger, let’s be real 💅), are BACK with a new track called “Break These Chains.” And get this, it features Niko Vilhelm from BLIND CHANNEL. Because apparently, Finnish rock needs even MORE eyeliner and angst. It’s out via Better Noise Music and Playground Music. I didn’t even know Playground Music was still a thing. Anyway, the song is from their UPCOMING album, “Weirdo,” because apparently, they haven’t run out of bad album title ideas yet. 🤷♀️ It’s their ELEVENTH album. ELEVENTH. Who knew?
There’s a video too, directed by some dude named Aleksei Kulikov. I bet it’s full of dramatic slow-motion shots and wind machines. 💨 Probably some pigeons too, for that extra touch of ~artistry~. I’m calling it now.
Lauri Ylönen, the dude with the perpetually gravity-defying hair, says the song is about a “toxic relationship.” Groundbreaking. 🙄 He even digs his teeth into lyrics like, “You made me believe/That true passion makes you bleed/So I stayed too long/To play your twisted games.” Oh, honey, tell us something we DON’T know. He wrote it with Marti Frederiksen and Desmond Child, so you KNOW it’s gonna be catchy, even if it’s also cheesy af. Lauri says it’s about “letting go of something that you know is bad for you, but you’re obsessed with.” Yeah, like this band. 😂
And as mentioned before, THE RASMUS decided they needed MORE Finnish angst, so they roped in Niko Vilhelm from BLIND CHANNEL. Because two wrongs make a right? 🤔
Vilhelm is all like, “THE RASMUS are heroes of mine!” *cue dramatic gasp* “I was so excited when Lauri called me!” Yeah, I bet. Probably the highlight of his week. “The heavier sound suits them soooo well!” Okay, buddy, calm down. You’re gonna spill your coffee. ☕
Apparently, most of the songs on “Weirdo” were written in Folegandros, Greece. Because nothing screams “Finnish rock” like a Greek island getaway. 🏝️ They did full band demos in Finland in July 2023, because apparently, you can’t just write and record an album in one go anymore. Gotta have those DEMOS. 🙄 The album was finalized and recorded in Nashville. Because…reasons? Some tracks were mixed by Marti Frederiksen, because nepotism is alive and well in the music industry. 👨💼 Other mixes were done by Chris Baseford, Claudius Mittendorfer, and Joseph McQueen. It takes a village to make a mediocre rock album, apparently. 🤷♀️
The second single, “Creatures Of Chaos,” has over 521,000 views. Congrats, I guess? 🎉 The first single, “Rest In Pieces,” has over 556,000 views. So, basically, nobody cares. 💀
Lauri says, “‘Weirdo’ has pretty much the same message as on our first album released in 1996.” So, basically, they haven’t grown or evolved in almost 30 years. Got it. 👍 “It is to defend and praise the ones who are different from the masses.” Yeah, because being a rock star is SOOOO different. 🙄
Ylönen then goes on a whole spiel about being a “weirdo.” “I’ve always felt like an outsider not fitting the norm.” Oh, boo-hoo. 😭 “I’ve been called a weirdo, misfit and a freak.” Get in line, buddy. “That used to make me angry — but not anymore.” Okay, cool story, bro. “Are you a Weirdo? Join us…” No thanks, I’m good. ✌️
THE RASMUS are going on a “Weirdo Tour” in 2025. Get your tickets now! …Or don’t. I’m not your mom. 🤷♀️ They just finished a U.S. tour with THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, because who wouldn’t want to see a band named “The Funeral Portrait”? Sounds like a real party. 🎉
Lauri exclaims, “It’s been a while since we went on tour!” Yeah, no kidding. “We can’t wait to hang out with our fans.” All three of them? 😂 “It’s going to be fun to see them again, we’re like family.” Okay, that’s kinda sweet, I guess. 🥰
They’re also playing a charity concert in Ukraine. Good for them, I guess. 🇺🇦 “It’s scary to play in the middle of war, but we want to show our support for the Ukrainian people.” Awww, that’s actually really nice. ❤️ “We have a massive fan base in Ukraine.” Really? I’m genuinely surprised. “We’ve also previously done a joint song with the Ukrainian Eurovision winner KALUSH ORCHESTRA.” Okay, now that’s just random. 😂
Here’s the “Weirdo” track listing, in case you’re a masochist:
01. Creatures Of Chaos (Because obviously)
02. Break These Chains (The song that started this whole mess)
03. Rest In Pieces (Accurate description of my interest level)
04. Dead Ringer (For every other generic rock song ever)
05. Weirdo (The title track, because originality is dead)
06. Banksy (What?)
07. Love Is A Bitch (Deep)
08. You Want It All (But you can’t have it)
09. Bad Things (Are gonna happen if you listen to this album)
10. I’m Coming For You (Threatening much?)
Apparently, in Finland, they’re still the “reigning No. 1 rock band.” Okay, Finland, you do you. 🇫🇮
Photo credit: Venla Shalin (I bet the photos are SUPER edgy)
Here are some YouTube videos that I’m definitely not going to watch again. 🙅♀️
And finally, the album cover. It’s…something. 🖼️ Probably involves more black eyeliner and angst. Because that’s what being a “Weirdo” is all about, right? 🙄
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
