WARMEN, the totally-not-a-vanity-project of ex-CHILDREN OF BODOM keyboard tickler Janne “Warman” Wirman (because, let’s be honest, who remembers the keyboardist anyway?), is unleashing a new album, “Band Of Brothers”, on August 15th via Reaper Entertainment. Because, you know, labels are just lining up to throw money at keyboardist side projects. 🙄
Apparently, this sonic masterpiece (said with the utmost sarcasm) is the follow-up to 2023’s “Here For None” – which, let’s face it, nobody was. It was painstakingly crafted (read: cobbled together) in various locations across Finland. 🇫🇮 Then, the legendary Finnvox Studios got to clean up the mess with Mikko Karmila (mix) and Mika Jussila (mastering). Petri Lindroos (of ENSIFERUM, because one band wasn’t enough for him) allegedly delivers “aggressive” vocals (probably just yelling louder than the keyboards) and “distinctive” guitar solos (probably just pinched harmonics on repeat). He’s adding “new energy” and defining the band’s “modern sound” (which is totally not just a rehash of everything else). 😴
The first single, the monumentally creative title track “Band Of Brothers”, will allegedly be a “central role” in WARMEN’s 2025 live set. So, get ready to hear it… a lot. Following the album release (which, let’s be real, will probably be met with a collective yawn), WARMEN will be embarking on an “extensive” touring schedule across Europe. That includes debut shows in Hungary and Switzerland (because those are the metal hotspots, right?), as well as a “major” headlining tour in Finland (where everyone is legally obligated to attend). 🎫
The official album launch will be celebrated with a “special” release show at Germany’s Summer Breeze Open Air festival on August 15th. So, if you happen to be there and are really, REALLY bored, you can check it out. Or, you know, go get a beer. 🍺
In 2025, WARMEN will present themselves as “heavier, tighter, and more determined than ever before.” 🏋️♀️ The new record combines “brutal heaviness” (keyboard solos!), “anthemic melodies” (more keyboard solos!), and “cinematic atmosphere” (you guessed it: KEYBOARD SOLOS!). It’s cementing the band’s “evolution” from a side project to a “fully fledged force” in melodic death metal (said no one ever). 🤘
“We really wrote this album together,” says Janne. “It feels like a real band — a true band of brothers.” (Translation: “Please validate my existence.”) 🥺
“Band Of Brothers” track listing:
01. Band Of Brothers (Because originality is overrated)
02. One More Year (Of keyboard domination)
03. Nine Lives (How many times can you recycle the same riff?)
04. When Doves Cry Blood (A subtle nod to Prince… or not)
05. Out For Blood (Probably about the drummer’s cut)
06. Kingdom Of Rust (A commentary on the music industry?)
07. March Or Die (A call to action for keyboard enthusiasts?)
08. Untouched (Like the sales figures will be)
09. Coup De Grâce (The final blow to melodic death metal?)
10. Dethroned (Who was on the throne to begin with?)
11. The Kiss Of Judas (STRATOVARIUS cover) (Because nothing says originality like a cover song!) 💋
The cover artwork was once again created by Aleh Zieliankievic, who also worked on “Here For None”. Because why change a winning formula… of mediocrity? 🎨
WARMEN started as a solo project of Wirman, because, you know, everyone needs a creative outlet to unleash their inner keyboard wizard. When the keyboardist wasn’t busy jet-setting around the world with CHILDREN OF BODOM (back when people actually cared), he was “regularly” recording albums with his brother Antti “Warman” Wirman (guitar, obviously), Jyri Helko (bass – because someone has to play it), and Mirka Rantanen (drums; ex-HEVISAURUS – yes, that’s a real band). After the “much-too-early end” of CHILDREN OF BODOM (RIP Alexi) and the “tragic death” of Alexi Laiho, Janne, together with Antti, “found his way back to music” through WARMEN. (Translation: “I need something to do now that my main gig is over.”) 🤷♂️
WARMEN is:
Janne “Warman” Wirman – Keyboards (The reason we’re all here)
Petri Lindroos – Vocals (The guy who yells over the keyboards)
Antti “Warman” Wirman – Guitar (Exists)
Jyri Helko – Bass (Also exists)
Seppo Tarvainen – Drums (Keeps the beat, mostly)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
