So, like, the Clarksdale Civic Auditorium was totally, utterly, and completely PACKED, okay? 🙄 You wouldn’t BELIEVE the sheer number of people who showed up for this “special screening” of ‘Sinners,’ a movie that apparently made, like, a bajillion dollars. $340 million? Yeah, right. Probably just some creative accounting, am I right? 😂
This “film,” a vampire horror drama (because apparently, we haven’t had enough of those 🙄), is supposedly set in Clarksdale. Clarksdale! Who even knows where that is? Some tiny town in Mississippi that’s suddenly “known for its deep musical roots and rich Black history” because some movie decided to film there. 🤔 Convenient, much?
And get this, the audience gave Ryan Coogler, the director, a STANDING OVATION. 👏 Before the movie even started! Talk about setting the bar low. I bet they were all just trying to brown-nose him, hoping for a cameo in the sequel. 🙄
Coogler, bless his heart, said that coming to Clarksdale “blew his mind.” 🤯 Yeah, I’m sure it did. Probably because he realized he could exploit a small town’s history for his own personal gain. I mean, “research”? Please. He probably just Googled “Clarksdale Mississippi history” and called it a day. 💻
And of course, there’s a “grassroots campaign for community engagement” because every movie needs a sob story to tug at your heartstrings and make you feel guilty for not caring about small towns. 🥺 This campaign was apparently started by some local activist named Tyler Yarbrough, who wrote a “viral open letter” to Coogler and Michael B. Jordan. A “viral open letter”! 🤣 As if anyone actually reads those things.
Yarbrough’s “public plea” (eye roll) turned into a three-day event with FREE screenings of ‘Sinners.’ FREE! 🤑 Because nothing says “we care about the community” like giving them something for free that they probably wouldn’t pay for anyway.
Some Clarksdale resident named Desiree Driver said the “acknowledgment of the city is long overdue.” 🙄 Oh, please. It’s not like Clarksdale was curing cancer or anything. It’s just a town. And now it’s getting “exposure” because of a vampire movie. How… inspiring? 😒
Jackie Mitchell, a resident of Memphis (because apparently, Clarksdale residents weren’t enthusiastic enough), called the event “monumental.” Monumental! As if building the pyramids or landing on the moon. It’s a movie screening, lady. Get a grip. 🤪
Valerie Arnold drove in from Little Rock, Arkansas, because she’s “always bothered” by the fact that people “pick the resources” from small towns and don’t “pour into the communities.” 😭 Oh, the humanity! I’m sure her visit to Clarksdale will single-handedly solve all of the town’s problems.
Coogler then shared some touching story about his “family ties to Mississippi roots” and how the journey to creating ‘Sinners’ was “deeply personal.” 🙄 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ve heard it all before. It’s always “personal” when you’re trying to sell something.
Apparently, they were on some “blues trip” where they all had “tears in their eyes.” 😢 At different locations! Because nothing says “authentic” like manufactured emotion for the cameras.
The free screenings continue until Saturday, accompanied by “community events including live music.” 🎶 Because what’s a small town without some live music to distract you from the fact that you’re in a small town?
And of course, there’s a link to get “passes” for the screenings. Because even though they’re “free,” you still need a “pass.” Because nothing is ever truly free, is it? 😈
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
