OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods, New Masters” on September 26 via Metal Blade Records. Bet you can’t wait! (Said no one ever.)
REVOCATION, because apparently, they haven’t run out of shred riffs yet, is unleashing more “extreme music for extreme times.” Translation: more sweep picking than you can shake a stick at. Their fifth record for Metal Blade, “New Gods, New Masters,” promises nine songs of “brutal lyrical and musical significance.” Oh, please. We all know it’s just gonna be more blast beats and guttural vocals about stuff no one understands. 🙄 While their 2022 album, “Netherheaven,” apparently “set a high bar” (citation needed), they’ve somehow managed to make it even MORE intense this time. How? By adding even MORE notes per second? 🤯 Dave Davidson (the guy who thinks he’s the next Chuck Schuldiner) is crediting the new members, Harry Lannon and Alex Weber, with “renewed energy.” Maybe they just brought him some decent coffee for once. ☕
“It’s been a pleasure ripping with those guys,” Davidson says. Ripping what, exactly? Your fans off with another album that sounds exactly like the last one? 🤔 He also claims he’s “always refining his craft.” Yeah, by adding more pinch harmonics. 🎸
The album title, “New Gods, New Masters,” is apparently Davidson’s profound statement on humanity’s need to worship stuff. “We’ve replaced our old gods with new ones, worshipping technology,” he says. Deep, man. Real deep. He’s “deeply concerned” about AI, probably because it’s gonna replace guitarists any day now. 🤖
The first single, “Cronenberged,” features Jonny Davy from JOB FOR A COWBOY. Because nothing screams “technical death metal” like a guest vocalist from a band that peaked in 2007. 🤡 The song is about a science experiment gone wrong. Groundbreaking stuff.
Davidson, a self-proclaimed “massive sci-fi horror fan,” says the song is a “homage” to David Cronenberg. More like a cheap rip-off. He also gives a shout-out to “Rick And Morty” for inspiring the song title. So edgy. 💀
The video for “Cronenberged” apparently features “tons of gore and practical effects.” So original! “Getting to transform into a hideous tentacle monster was a real treat,” Davidson says. Bet it was. Probably the most action he’s seen in years. 🦑
“New Gods, New Masters” was produced by Davidson and mixed and mastered by Jens Bogren. Because when you want your album to sound like every other modern metal album, you hire Jens Bogren. The artwork is by Paolo Girardi, because apparently, all metal album covers have to look like they were painted by a medieval monk on acid. 😵 In addition to Jonny Davy, the album features Travis Ryan, Luc Lemay, and jazz guitarist Gilad Hekselman. Because nothing says “cohesive album” like throwing in random guest appearances. 🤡
The tracklist includes such bangers as “Sarcophagi Of The Soul” and “Dystopian Vermin.” So metal! 🤘
Following the release, REVOCATION will be touring North America with JUDICIARY, INFERI, and VOMIT FORTH. Sounds like a party. 🎉 (A party I’m actively avoiding.)
REVOCATION is:
Dave Davidson – vocals, guitar (aka the only guy who matters)
Ash Pearson – drums (probably just hitting things really fast)
Harry Lannon – rhythm guitar (aka the other guy)
Alex Weber – bass (because every band needs a bassist)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
