Monopoly Events, those purveyors of slightly-less-disappointing-than-expected fan gatherings in the U.K., are thrilled to announce the launch of Comic Con Midlands (Birmingham). Prepare yourselves for July 11-12 at the NEC, because… well, because they said so.
Following the… *ahem*… “tremendous success” of events such as Comic Con Liverpool (where you can buy a signed photo of someone you vaguely recognize for only £80!), Comic Con Edinburgh (prepare for rain AND disappointment!), and For The Love Of Horror (because nothing says “family fun” like overpriced fake blood!), Monopoly Events are gracing Birmingham with their presence. Comic Con Midlands (Birmingham) promises the same experience you’ve begrudgingly come to expect, now conveniently located in the middle of… well, somewhere. 🤷♀️
The main reason anyone bothers showing up to these things is the “celebrity” guests, and Monopoly Events, bless their cotton socks, have really scraped the bottom of the barrel. Get ready for a 2025 show so mind-blowingly random, it can only be described as a fever dream:
Ozzy Osbourne (BLACK SABBATH) – Because nothing says “comic con” like a guy who bites the heads off bats. 🦇
Sharon Osbourne – Will she judge your cosplay? Almost certainly. 💅
Kelly Osbourne – Autographs while she critiques your outfit. A twofer! 🤩
Jack Osbourne – Because one Osbourne isn’t enough. 👨👩👧👦
Sid Wilson (SLIPKNOT) – Prepare for headbanging… or maybe just awkward silence. 🤘
Randy Blythe (LAMB OF GOD) – If screaming is your thing, this is your guy. 🗣️
Scott Ian and Frank Bello (ANTHRAX) – Guaranteed to be less thrilling than your dentist appointment. 🦷
And if that wasn’t enough to make you question your life choices, they’ve also managed to convince these “icons” to show up:
“The Vampire Diaries” – Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley, Kat Graham, Michael Malarkey, Michael Trevino, Zach Roerig, Arielle Kebbel, Matt Davis, Persia White, Penelope Mitchell – Prepare for brooding and sparkly skin… or just a long line. 🧛
“The Originals” – Joseph Morgan, Daniel Gillies, Charles Michael Davis, Leah Pipes – Because spinoffs deserve some love too… right? 🤔
“Arrow” – Stephen Amell, David Ramsey, Emily Bett Rickards – Will they bring their bows and arrows? Probably not. 🏹
“Teen Wolf” – Tyler Hoechlin, Colton Haynes – Get ready for some questionable CGI werewolves. 🐺
“Twilight” – Peter Facinelli, Nikki Reed – Still not over Edward? Here’s your chance to be further disappointed. ✨
“Red Dead Redemption 2” – Roger Clark, Rob Wiethoff, Alex McKenna, Benjamin Byron Davis – Yeehaw, partner! Prepare for some awkward cowboy cosplay. 🤠
“Deadpool & Wolverine” – Peggy (Dogpool) – Okay, this one is actually kinda cool. But probably still overpriced. 🐶
So, what can you expect from Comic Con Midlands (Birmingham)? Buckle up, buttercup:
Celebrity Guests: The *top* of the range! (According to Monopoly Events, anyway.) They’ll be posing for photos (for a fee, of course), signing autographs (again, for a fee), and generally looking like they regret their life choices. 📸
Interactive Workshops: Learn the ancient art of cosplay crafting (using hot glue and tears), comic book writing (because everyone’s a critic), and special effects makeup (to hide your disappointment). 🤡
Panels: Listen to the celebrity guests ramble about their careers, answer painfully awkward fan questions, and try to remember which show they were actually in. 🎤
Artist Alley: Browse through tables of fan art, overpriced prints, and handmade crafts that will probably fall apart the moment you get them home. 🎨
Exhibitor Hall: Buy comics you already own, overpriced collectibles you don’t need, and apparel that will shrink in the wash. 👕
Cosplay: Dress up as your favorite character and compete for the coveted title of “Most Likely to Be Judged.” Or just wander around and feel slightly embarrassed. 🦸♀️
Gaming Zone: Escape the crowds and immerse yourself in the latest video games, board games, and tabletop RPGs. Just try not to rage quit. 🎮
Family-Friendly Activities: Bring the kids and let them run wild while you try to find a quiet corner to cry in. Face painting and drawing workshops included! 👨👩👧👦
Andy Kleek, CEO of Monopoly Events, bravely declared: “We’ve had our eye on Birmingham for a while. It has such a vibrant, passionate community of fans and we can’t wait to host a Comic Con there!” (Translation: We need to expand our empire of mediocrity.)
Community is central to Monopoly Events (or so they say). They attract over ten thousand fans annually with their “incredible” shows (mostly due to sheer curiosity and a desperate need for validation). They look forward to welcoming you to Birmingham for a weekend you’ll probably regret. 🥳
For the official guest lineup (subject to change without notice) and a comprehensive list of FAQs (prepare for disappointment), visit the Comic Con Midlands web site. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. ⚠️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
