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Day: July 29, 2025

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate
Elephant Reads CNN

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another tear-jerker from the Fake News CNN, folks! This time, they’re pushing a “documentary” about Ukrainian soldiers. I bet it’s…

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…

Colorado Dentist’s Trial: Did He Really Off His Wife With Poison or Was It Just a Bad Root Canal
Elephant Reads CNN

Colorado Dentist’s Trial: Did He Really Off His Wife With Poison or Was It Just a Bad Root Canal

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled… or at least, exposed for what it is! They’re trying to frame a…

American Eagle Apologizes, Replaces Sydney Sweeney With Fat Transgender Double-Amputee Of Color
Babylon Bee

American Eagle Apologizes, Replaces Sydney Sweeney With Fat Transgender Double-Amputee Of Color

FinnJuly 29, 2025

PITTSBURGH, PA — Social justice warriors scored another victory today, as retail chain American Eagle issued a public apology and…

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles 
The Onion

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles 

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained…

Businesses Hysterically Prepare for Impending Tariff-geddon (They’re Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

Businesses Hysterically Prepare for Impending Tariff-geddon (They’re Not)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! These poor, delicate “small businesses” are whining about President Trump’s brilliant strategy to make other countries play…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is cutting a measly $1.1 billion from the Corporation for Public…

Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)
Breaking, Games News

Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, JOY! 🤩 The illustrious Nintendo Switch Online is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with… Mario Paint. Yes, you read…

OMG! Americans Suddenly Develop Delusions of Economic Grandeur Thanks to Some贸易谈判 (Whatever That Means)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Americans Suddenly Develop Delusions of Economic Grandeur Thanks to Some贸易谈判 (Whatever That Means)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the Fake News is at it again, trying to downplay the roaring Trump economy! CNN grudgingly admits that consumer…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Finn December 31, 2025
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