‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate
Another tear-jerker from the Fake News CNN, folks! This time, they’re pushing a “documentary” about Ukrainian soldiers. I bet it’s…
Day: July 29, 2025
Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…
OMG! Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is ALIVE (and kinda fugly) Check Out the Pics!
Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on…
Colorado Dentist’s Trial: Did He Really Off His Wife With Poison or Was It Just a Bad Root Canal
Another day, another Deep State plot foiled… or at least, exposed for what it is! They’re trying to frame a…
American Eagle Apologizes, Replaces Sydney Sweeney With Fat Transgender Double-Amputee Of Color
PITTSBURGH, PA — Social justice warriors scored another victory today, as retail chain American Eagle issued a public apology and…
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained…
Businesses Hysterically Prepare for Impending Tariff-geddon (They’re Not)
Oh, the horror! These poor, delicate “small businesses” are whining about President Trump’s brilliant strategy to make other countries play…
Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is cutting a measly $1.1 billion from the Corporation for Public…
Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)
Oh, JOY! 🤩 The illustrious Nintendo Switch Online is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with… Mario Paint. Yes, you read…
OMG! Americans Suddenly Develop Delusions of Economic Grandeur Thanks to Some贸易谈判 (Whatever That Means)
Oh, the Fake News is at it again, trying to downplay the roaring Trump economy! CNN grudgingly admits that consumer…